DEAR DEIDRE: MY daughter’s abusive ex is still on the scene and I worry she’ll never be free of him.
She is trying to help him get better so they can co-parent their little girl together, but he is still in love with her. It’s not healthy.
My daughter is 36. I am her 64-year-old dad. Her ex is 37.
He is a narcissist and has severe mental health problems.
Things became so bad between them that my daughter had no choice but to get a non-molestation order against him.
It was a last resort because she has tried so hard to help him, for the sake of their daughter.
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The police advised my daughter to throw him out, which she did, but she feels guilty.
When he visits their daughter he cries, saying nobody will help him.
This is beginning to affect my daughter’s mental health as she tries to keep things calm for her child.
Even at the tender age of 12, my granddaughter realises how mentally abusive her father is.
I am supporting my daughter as much as I can, but she is struggling.
My worry is that she will never be free of him.
Can they really co-parent together when he is still manipulating her?
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DEIDRE SAYS: You’ll want to protect your daughter and granddaughter, so while this man is your granddaughter’s biological father and there will always be a link, their wellbeing and safety has to come first.
Urge your daughter to talk to Women’s Aid (womensaid.org.uk), who can help her navigate this unhealthy and abusive set-up and protect her daughter’s welfare.
Unfortunately, unless this man decides to seek help for his mental health, things won’t improve.
Your daughter’s priority is to protect her child.
She can also contact Coram Children’s Legal Centre
(childrenslegalcentre.com, 01206 714 650). It offers free legal advice for families.
