DEAR DEIDRE: MY stepson is a total creep and I’m starting to think my partner is to blame.
Every time this lad is around my daughters he makes them feel uncomfortable – and despite all my efforts, his father doesn’t see any wrongdoing.
I’m at the end of my tether and not sure how much more I can take.
I’m 57, my husband is 60 and we’ve been married for five years.
I have two daughters from a previous marriage – one is 22, the other 23 – and my husband has a son who is 30.
Truthfully, I have never been that fond of my stepson. He has always come across as quite rude and self-absorbed but I put up with it for the sake of my relationship.
Recently, though, I’ve started to notice how he treats my daughters.
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He often gawks at them, makes comments about their appearance, and sits uncomfortably close to them.
One of my daughters even told me that she caught him trying to watch her in the shower.
I’ve told my husband on many occasions, but every time he dismisses me and tells me that I’m overreacting.
I couldn’t understand why he saw no wrong in his son’s behaviour, until I caught my husband sending creepy messages to women on Facebook asking for “sexy pictures”.
Now I can’t even look at him in the same way, and I’m starting to wonder if his son is the way he is because of him.
Don’t they say “like father, like son” for a reason?
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DEIDRE SAYS: I can understand how distressing this must be for you. Your stepson’s behaviour is out of order and you are right to be concerned.
While it’s very possible that your husband could have had an influence on his son’s behaviour, what matters more is that he is doing nothing to hold him accountable.
It would be best if you sat him down and explained the severity of the situation.
Tell him how his actions have made you feel and say that if he refuses to change or stand up to his son, you will will have to consider leaving the relationship.
My support pack Standing Up For Yourself can help. If things don’t improve, my support pack Ending A Relationship may prove helpful.
