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Editor's Note: The author remains anonymous to protect his identity from his family. Insider confirmed the author's identity and that he's a Penn State student.
In 2021, a star was born in the drag scene at Penn State University.
As Ms. Fire, I took my first steps onto the stage, donning a sickening velveteen gown that exuded glamour. At that moment, I knew drag was more than just a hobby; it became an integral part of who I am.
But my journey hasn't been without its challenges. Even though I faced family setbacks and societal pressure, I still try to keep Ms. Fire alive.
When I was playing around with the idea of doing drag, I came up with the name Ms. Fire because my favorite element is fire. I also decided to use the name to personify my performance style: always changing, high energy, and intense.
In 2021, I performed for the first time with Penn State Opulence, the on-campus drag club, in my sophomore year. I was the first new queen the club had seen in a while.
My first number was to the song "Mistress Violet" by Violet Chachki and Allie X. I wore a simple, dark purple gown embroidered in gold with a large slit up the side accompanied by a pair of 6-inch silver heels.
I was terrified in the wings before going on, but the second the music started, everything changed. I felt gorgeous, powerful, and taken up in the moment. I couldn't believe I was actually doing it.
Ever since I never feared a performance; I now know I will have fun no matter what.
As I continued to perform over the years, I began to introduce aspects of my drag into my everyday outfits. I now wear jewelry and heels regularly. I take great pride in my ability to walk in a 5-inch point-toe stiletto all day.
As I grew up in a conservative, Republican, and Catholic household in the suburbs of Pittsburgh, my parents made no secret of their anti-LGBTQ+ views. Fearing the repercussions of my family's disapproval, I hid my drag paraphernalia from their prying eyes, safeguarding this integral part of my life.
A moment of unexpected exposure, however, shattered my illusion of secrecy.
When my father found my drag ensemble in my dorm closet in my sophomore year, a confrontation ensued. My father ridiculed me for the "transvestitism" he said I was participating in. Additionally, he told me "that lifestyle only leads to perversion, disease, drugs, and eventually early death."
My parents forced me to donate all of my drag and made me promise I would never do it again. I had no other options. My parents provided me with so much, and the threat of all of that being taken away was too overwhelming. It was a painful experience that left me feeling empty — as if a part of my identity had been erased.
Yet, amid despair, I realized this setback did not mark the end of my journey. Drag had taught me the importance of embracing my true self, and I clung to that invaluable lesson. With the support of trusted friends, I safeguarded some drag essentials, ensuring that when the time came to rebuild, I would have the means to reignite the flames. This newfound resilience propelled me into a "new era" of drag, allowing me not just to survive but to thrive as a drag queen.
The truth is that I understand that my family's disapproval stems from a different time and perspective, and I choose to focus on the personal growth and self-assurance this experience has granted me. While they may never accept my drag persona, I've learned to appreciate the love and support they offer in other aspects of my life. This realization has shaped me both as a person and as a drag queen, giving me the self-confidence to know I can endure anything thrown my way.
My journey as a drag queen has been a testament to the enduring power of self-confidence and resilience. The challenges I have faced have only strengthened my resolve, affirming my belief that I can overcome any obstacle that comes my way.
Today, I continue performing in drag after having built my wardrobe back up. I have been met with so much support from my community. Through the flames of adversity, I have found my strength, and I hope to inspire others to embrace their true selves with unapologetic pride. Ms. Fire will never be extinguished.
