I’M sitting by a pool on the top deck of a cruise ship in glorious sunshine and 27C heat while sipping a mojito.
It feels like I’m in the Caribbean, but for half the price and hassle I’m actually on a star-studded trip around the UK.
The bargain ride on P&O’s Britannia takes us from Southampton to Glasgow, stopping off in Liverpool.
And with entertainment from Imagine Cruising, we’re treated to free top-class celebrity performances from the best of the British along the way.
It’s tough to believe the luxury trip works out for less than £60 a night — which includes a near-24-hour buffet and a huge range of on-board activities.
As we pull up in our car in Southampton we catch our first breathtaking glance at our colossal home for the next six nights.
We swan on board after dropping our bags and explore the 1,082ft-long and 17-deck-high ship.
The Britannia boasts four swimming pools, luxury spa, gym, a casino, a library, a cinema and even a basketball court.
But the true heart of the ship is the Headliners Theatre where we enjoy a host of exclusive celebrity appearances.
Funnyman Jason Manford is first to take to the stage, and the the 8 Out Of 10 Cats star has us all in stitches.
The top-class comedian has young and old cackling with laughter before showing the range of his talent by wrapping up his set singing a song from Sweeney Todd.
And the next night we are wowed by Beverley Knight — widely labelled as one of Britain’s greatest soul singers.
She treats us to her own hit singles as well as several Whitney Houston classics.
Also appearing on the two-week sailing is celebrity hypnotist Paul McKenna but as we are only onboard for one week we miss his show.
Impressively, the boat is also home to 13 bars and restaurants with cuisine ranging from Chinese to British classics.
On our way to Liverpool, we try out the Sindhu Indian fine dining restaurant by TV chef Atul Kochhar, and are not disappointed as we tuck into tandoori chicken and pan-seared duck breast.
In the morning we wake up in our cabin and peel back our curtains to find our view has changed from open water to the beautiful city of Liverpool, our first stop.
We eagerly rush off the ship to explore, and hop on the Magical Mystery Tour bus which takes us on a two-hour guided Beatles journey.
The tour, which rings in at just £19.95 includes entry to the world-famous Cavern Club and takes us from Penny Lane to Strawberry Fields and even to Paul McCartney’s childhood home.
The next two days are spent at sea as we travel up north to Scotland — and this is the most magical part of the trip.
We spend most of this time sitting on the top deck by the pool drinking in the incredible views (and cocktails).
The captain takes us on a voyage past the Orkney islands and weaving through the Hebrides islands as the sun beams down on us.
We sail just a mile from the coast of the Isle of Skye, the Isle of Mull and the breathtaking Isle of Islay, floating by ancient castles, quaint fishing villages and stunning lighthouses.
As we watch a sunset of pink and red hues while sitting in a hot tub we spot something in the water below — a dolphin.
Suddenly, more and more appear and we find ourselves surrounded by roughly 80 bottlenose dolphins dancing alongside the hull.
To top it off, just before we head inside I see a huge splash from the corner of my eye.
A couple of seconds later I see it again — we are just over 100ft from a humpback whale.
The next morning we decide to take full advantage of the boat’s activities for our final full day on board.
After tucking into a buffet breakfast, we head to deck 16 where we enter a table tennis competition — before heading up to the basketball court to try our hand at archery.
That afternoon we shuffle into the Live Lounge for a game of bingo and then pop into Brodie’s bar for a pub quiz.
The dress code for our final night is black tie, so we rush back to our cabin to get dressed up to the nines.
We swan around the stunning boat in our fineries, feeling like celebrities as we’re served free prosecco.
After one last night in our stunning cabin, we wake up the next morning to the sound of bagpipes.
Peeling back the curtain to our balcony, we see we’ve docked at Greenock, a small town just outside of Glasgow.
In front of green rolling hills is a Scot in a kilt, belting out a jig as we leave the ship for the last time.
Our trip has taken us the length of the UK, but having been so lucky with the weather it really does feel as if we have been gliding through the waters of the Caribbean.
And with Britain having so much to offer, it feels like more of us should be taking the chance to explore our own shores.
SAILING THERE: Imagine Cruising curates special trips with a host of celebs.
The next star-studded sailing will be on board Sky Princess on an Exclusive Canaries Sailcation departing from Southampton on April 15, 2024.
During the 12-night cruise there will be performances and an intimate Q&A with ballroom stars Anton Du Beke and Erin Boag, a classical concert by Russell Watson and fascinating talk by British astronaut, Tim Peake.
Prices for the cruise start from just £999 including all meals and entertainment.
The cruise will call at Lisbon, Lanzarote, Gran Canaria, Tenerife and Madeira.
To book, visit imaginecruising.co.uk or call 0800 840 5801.
For a chance to enjoy the delights of P&O Cruises’ Britannia, Imagine Cruising has a five-night, no-fly cruise from Southampton to Cherbourg, Zeebrugge for Bruges and Rotterdam from £419pp, departing April 21, 2024.
Visit imaginecruising.co.uk or call 0800 840 5801.
