DEAR DEIDRE: I AM enjoying a secret affair with my best friend’s dad, but feel terrible about keeping it hidden from her.
I am 21, my friend is 20 and we became best friends when we were studying music at college.
We hit it off and I also became friends with her mum, brother, and dad.
He is 41, absolutely gorgeous and looks a lot younger than his age.
He’s the lead singer in a band and plays the guitar.
One night my friend and I went to watch them performing and I couldn’t help but find myself admiring him.
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Over the following weeks something changed between us and whenever I visited my friend’s house I would feel a real fluttering sensation if he came anywhere near me or even looked at me.
I’d never felt anything like it and prayed that no one else had noticed how I felt about him.
But they had. One night I missed the last bus and so my friend’s dad gave me a lift home.
He pulled up at the end of my street and looked at me intensely.
Without saying a word, he leaned over and started kissing me.
He honestly completely took my breath away.
From then on he’d regularly give me lifts and we’d kiss in his car.
Over the months, we’ve met at country pubs and shared meals together.
On the way home we’ll find somewhere secluded and I’ll give him oral sex or we’ll have full sex.
But I’ve started to feel uneasy around my friend.
She’s even mentioned that her parents are arguing more than ever.
I’m starting to feel very guilty about what her dad and I have been getting up to.
If I tell her, it will ruin a family and my friendship, but I know one day I won’t be able to stop myself blurting it out.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: You have a lot more to lose than just your friend.
Her dad would no doubt drop you like a hot stone, their family would likely close ranks and you would be painted as a home-wrecker.
This man must think all his Christmases have come at once, having a gorgeous girl half his age at his beck and call.
Please ask yourself, what sort of man would have an affair with a much younger person who is best friends with their own child?
This man is selfish and reckless not only with his marriage but his family.
There is no way this can end well if you let it drag on.
Pay attention to the guilt you feel. Find the courage to end this.
Tell him you have come to your senses and avoid him at all costs until you feel strong enough to turn him down.
You deserve someone nearer your age, with whom you can have a proper relationship rather than just secret sex.
