HEARING the phone ping, Juliet Owen-Nuttall picked it up and opened the message intended for her partner Daniel.
It was from a friend, confirming plans to meet up with him that night.
But the mum-of-one was not snooping on her other half.
She had permission to look at every text, email, DM and photo on the device — because they share a single phone.
While most couples have individual handsets, there are a small number who have one between two or communal devices sharing an account.
Rather than an extreme form of spying, they see it as removing a source of suspicion and distraction that can cause arguments out of nothing — and insist it makes their relationship stronger.
It’s in contrast to a recent survey which found more than seven in ten people admit to using their other half’s mobile without them knowing, while more than half confessed to checking a partner’s messages.
Juliet, 48, admits that in the past, she hadn’t always picked up Daniel’s phone with innocent motives.
After their cleaning business failed and a move abroad went wrong, she started to anxiously check phone messages behind his back, trying to find evidence of deception.
But since that rough patch a few years ago, the couple have worked on building their trust — and now they use each other’s phones openly, often sharing one device.
Mum-of-one Juliet, a fertility wellbeing practitioner, says: “For us it’s about intimacy.
“We have a very deep level of communication now and are totally honest with each other.
“Sharing information gives us a connection we don’t have with other people.
“I feel I am a better partner to Daniel because we have no secrets.
“When you go through a rough patch, naturally sex and that side of things is affected.
“But when you have totally open communication and trust, sex is much better and you feel closer.
“It also means we don’t have that problem of the other person checking in on you if you are apart, which can cause tension.
“Some of our friends and family clearly think it’s a bit weird though.
“We’ve had comments like, ‘We don’t share stuff like that. It’s private’.
“They also don’t like the fact they don’t know which one of us might be reading their message.”
When the couple ran their cleaning business together, they shared phones for five years and did not have individual handsets.
Juliet says: “We had one for work and one for personal use. People didn’t always know which one of us was replying to texts.”
But after things went wrong with their company in 2016, they reverted to using separate phones temporarily.
Juliet says: “Our plans to move abroad fell through, meaning we were stuck living in separate countries for six months and needed our own phones.
“When we came together again, I wanted to know what he’d been doing.
“It was like an internal alarm going off that something wasn’t right.
“I was insecure and anxious about our relationship.
“I admit I was looking through Daniel’s phone because I had this mistrust that I couldn’t put my finger on.
“I had also much preferred it when we shared one phone as I could totally trust him.
“I thought it was Daniel but after working on my own self-esteem and confidence, I realised it was actually my own issues.
“He had never done anything to make me feel that way.”
Now the couple live in Henfield, Sussex, with their three-year-old daughter, Lyra.
Daniel, 41, works as a pastry chef and often travels with work.
They reverted to using one phone between them after their rough patch, but when Juliet became pregnant they decided it was sensible to have two devices for emergencies.
Juliet says: “Now when I use Daniel’s phone, I don’t feel anxious or any need to rummage around through his pictures and messages.
“We are apart often but I trust him and I trust my intuition.
“If I sense something feels off in our relationship, we communicate and process issues together. I don’t go snooping.
“I think mobile phones can actually make couples anxious and create rows.
“Your brain becomes suspicious and goes down avenues that it doesn’t need to go down.”
She adds: “Before, I would have checked through his phone almost hoping I’d find something to start a big argument about, thinking I’d get some connection or resolution from the upset.
“Over the years we’ve learned that treating each other with respect and speaking positively about our relationship has changed how we interact.
“While we have separate mobile phones these days, we still have access to each other’s devices.
“The only thing we don’t do now is reply on behalf of one another.”
From their first date, Ipswich couple Katie and Danny Bloomfield knew they wanted to be completely open with each other.
The pair had experienced how suspicion around mobile phone use could be toxic and wanted to recapture how couples used to interact before technology got in the way.
The couple — who are partners in a property business and have six children aged two to 20 between them — often swap mobiles for the day and say it is not a big deal because they have nothing to hide.
Katie, 39, says: “We have no secrets from each other so our phones are open books with shared IDs and passwords.
“We both believe our marriage is stronger because we have the freedom to read each other’s phone if we want to.
“We’ve seen first-hand through our previous relationships how secrecy with phones can speak volumes.
“We also see it with our kids and it’s telling when they hide their phone screen from your view.
“By sharing our phones, we hope we’re modelling healthy relationship behaviour for them.”
Katie and Danny, 41, started dating in 2017 after sparks flew on a night out, before marrying and starting their business two years later.
Katie says: “I’d been single for a long time and had grown cynical. It was Danny’s honesty that really appealed.
“We told each other everything straight away.
“From day one we agreed to always be completely transparent with one another.
“One of the ways we do that is shared inboxes and linked phone calendars.
“You can’t email me without Danny seeing it — everything goes to one place.
“We are busy parents running a business, so there’s a constant flow of information and appointments.”
Nor do the couple worry about invading the privacy of friends who might want to message one of them separately.
Katie says: “We don’t sit and go through each other’s phones to read every bit of correspondence.
“We’re not snooping, we’re just sharing and keeping things open.
“We are each other’s true other half. I want him to know all of me.”
SECRETIVE phone behaviour can raise suspicions that your partner is up to no good.
Private investigator Ali Harris, of Miss AM Investigations, says there are clear red flags that your fears could be well-founded – but not always the ones you’d think.
“If they suddenly take their phone everywhere they go, such as to the bathroom and while putting their kids to bed, that could be a sign,” she says.
“Another is taking their calls outside, even in winter, as well as changing passwords.”
Keep your eyes peeled for any new or unusual apps too, whether that’s social media, dating sites or messaging ones – or a new, second username.
For example, Telegram and Signal can delete both ends of a message chain after a certain time.
Ali says snooping on someone’s phone for evidence is unlikely to yield results.
“Many people hide their tracks by having another phone that their partners are not aware of or they set up new free e-mail accounts.
“If you find charger leads that don’t fit your phones, they probably have a second device.”
And if you are tempted to access their messages, be careful.
The law says you need consent to access another person’s phone, unless you can argue they have given you the login and permission.
If not, you risk a hefty fine and up to two years in prison.
Ali says: “I would never check anyone’s phone as I expect that same courtesy.
“If you suspect your partner is cheating – in my experience, 60 per cent of them are when you have strong suspicions – you may find something you don’t want to face.”
