ONCE upon a time, a trip to the doctor meant a quick chat about your chesty cough and popping off to Boots with a prescription.
Today, your local GP will sooner whip out his/her preferred pronouns than a stethoscope.
NHS staff should declare whether they go by him/her/they every time they meet a new patient, according to the quango responsible for health service training.
A diversity training module for medics tells them to inform patients of their pronouns to create a “safe space” for transgender and non-binary people.
Er. Unless I’m going mad, why would I ever feel the need to be greeted by balding, pot-bellied 6ft 1in Dr Harris with the entirely superfluous words: “Hello, I’m Dr Harris, call me he/him.”
Just, why?
Simply baffling
I couldn’t have less interest in Dr Harris and what he has betwixt his legs.
Or, indeed, what he self-identifies as having between his legs.
I just want my cold to get better.
Now, of course, I understand the reasoning here.
Historically, trans and non-binary people — who make up 0.5 per cent of the population — have been treated abysmally.
Just as times change, so must this.
As a community, they are four times more likely to face violent discrimination than a cisgendered person (someone whose gender identity corresponds to their sex).
We need to treat trans, intersex and non-binary people with kindness, respect and understanding.
But this current obsession with labels is simply baffling.
By constantly asking people to define themselves, by making people actively “pick” a gender, are we not simply adding to the confusion?
Are we not only reinforcing differences and asking for judgment where one isn’t necessary?
Increasingly, I’m getting emails from people signing off with their pronouns.
Again, why do I need to know the gender of a publicist from ITV or the BBC promoting, say, Alan Carr’s new show?
By banging on about gender, by mentioning it at every given opportunity, by shoving it, metaphorically, down people’s throats, do we not risk alienating an already maligned margin of society even more?
Imagine the confusion of an elderly patient visiting their GP to be told by their patently female doctor that they are, indeed, a woman?
Having doctors and nurses stating their pronouns at the start of conversations is, surely, potentially alienating for non-trans people.
Won’t it make them feel uncomfortable?
Health Education England’s online learning module — entitled “LGBTQIA+ Awareness” — will be completed by staff across the NHS and care sector.
It also encourages health workers to announce their pronouns to each other at NHS staff meetings.
Like a sort of dystopian Girl Guides gathering.
It also states that transgender staff must be allowed to access single-sex facilities of the gender they identify as — regardless of whether they have physically transitioned.
In effect, this could see pre-operative transgender women being allowed in female-only spaces in hospitals.
Which, once again, potentially means women being made to feel unsafe in one of the few places they should expect to feel entirely safe.
But that’s a whole other topic.
He/she/they/them: Tiny little words with huge significance.
Significance that we are increasingly politicising — to worrying effect.
IT’S not the size of the dog in a fight that matters, it’s the size of the fight in the dog.
Never has the saying been better demonstrated than by little Twiglet the miniature dachshund last week.
Disturbing footage went viral showing a masked man snatching the 16-month-old puppy from her Essex home, before selling her online.
A nationwide hunt was launched for the pooch after the hammer-wielding thief was caught on CCTV.
For a good 40 seconds, game little Twiglet desperately ran away from the b*****d intruder, frantically howling, yapping, snapping and bravely wriggling in vain to escape his evil clutches.
It was truly horrible to watch.
Us humans really don’t deserve dogs.
ARTIFICIAL intelligence could have feelings and may one day require political rights, according to a pioneer of the technology.
Geoffrey Hinton, aka the godfather of AI who recently quit Google to warn about the dangers of the burgeoning tech, thinks AI has – or will soon have – emotions.
As someone who is unfailingly polite to Alexa – “Hi Alexa! Please could you possibly set an alarm for 7.45am, thank you.
“Goodnight Alexa, sleep well”, etc – this doesn’t really come as a great surprise.
But, still, it’s mildly terrifying.
IT’S official: We’ve hit peak cancel culture.
After gunning for politicians, sports stars, celebrities and members of royalty, now it’s the turn of fictional characters to be blacklisted.
In an unlikely turn of events, Sex And The City’s Carrie Bradshaw, right, is persona non grata.
A new blog has gone viral, claiming Sarah Jessica Parker’s clotheshorse Carrie is, quote, “the biggest, gas-lighting, gold-digging narcissist on TV”. Ouch.
Fans have forensically analysed the character’s “toxic traits” – apparently she’s a tight, cheating, bi-phobic, fat-shaming, judgemental, pitiful excuse for a woman – who is, essentially, the sisterhood’s greatest enemy.
GUYS, IT’S A TV SHOW.
ANDREW TATE has age and mum-shamed Amanda Holden, 52, saying of this bikini pic: “You’re far past a teenager.
“There is no need for this post.”
There is, Andrew.
She is an inspiration to women over 50.
You inspire no one.
NEXT week I’m getting my hair cut ’n’ coloured.
And, indeed, I look forward to every one of the below, c/o Very British Problems:
Very British Problems when having a haircut
CONGRATULATIONS to Nouhaila Benzina, who’s made football history at the Women’s World Cup in Australia.
Becoming the first ever player to wear a hijab at the tournament, the 25-year-old Moroccan, left, will doubtless inspire an entire generation of young Muslim women.
Women’s sport is once again breaking down boundaries – and, finally, getting the recognition it deserves.
FOR anyone looking for a quick and satisfying TV binge, give Hijack a go on Apple TV+.
The brilliant thriller, starring Idris Elba, pic- tured, conclu-des tomorrow.
Disclaimer: Just don’t watch it if you have a holiday, requiring a plane journey, any time soon.
QUITE rightly, Rishi Sunak has pledged to help hard-up motorists – and ordered a review of controversial low-traffic neighbourhoods.
With nearly 700,000 drivers liable to pay the daily London £12.50 Ulez charge when the scheme expands next month, the drive for net zero hits those hardest up.
But, as much as anything, Ulez and low-traffic neighbourhoods – and the resulting stream of CCTV/speed cameras ensuring we all drive at approximately 7mph – is alarmingly Big Brother.
This endless dystopian drive to control where we can and cannot go is, frankly, as creepy as it is annoying.
