I made my boyfriend turn the lights off during sex – will he get bored?
DEAR DEIDRE: I HAD sex with my new boyfriend last night but I insisted he had the lights off. I’m now worried my performance was rubbish.
I’m a woman of 31 and I haven’t had a boyfriend for seven years.
He’s a lovely guy of 28 and we’ve been seeing one another for two months. He said he would wait longer but I didn’t want him to get bored with me.
We’ve kissed and cuddled and got a bit sexual but I feel so out of practice.
I cooked him a meal last night and he couldn’t drive home because of the wine he’d had, so I invited him to stay over.
I knew I’d have to do something with him and he was very loving and tender but I was so scared of him seeing my body.
I think I lay there like a dead fish. I don’t know what I should do next time.
Can you help?
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DEIDRE SAYS: Yes, of course. A good sex life doesn’t come with a manual. It takes time and patience to learn about one another and what you enjoy.
Your boyfriend sounds kind and considerate. Tell him you feel nervous.
Ask him to show you what to do, how to make him feel good and suggest he guides your hands. I’m sure he’ll give you time to feel comfortable.
My support pack Worried You Just Lie There will help you to get it right.