The mom and TikToker has christened the saga '"Lunchboxgate," and said when children are food-shamed, they can carry it into adulthood.
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An Australian mom took to TikTok asking followers for advice after she said a teacher's aide at her five-year-old son's school refused to help him open a snack cake she'd packed in his lunchbox because it was "unhealthy."
Ashlee Griffiths, a comedic and lifestyle TikToker with 327,000 followers, went viral last week recounting the incident. She told Insider that she hopes making this incident public can foster a dialog about using neutral language to describe food.
"We are trying to take away the stigma around good versus bad foods," she said. "When you say things like that, even off the cuff, it can have lasting impacts on kids."
In the viral TikTok, which nabbed 1.5 million views, Griffiths told viewers she was shocked to discover that her son did not finish his snack as he's "eating everything in sight at the moment." Then, upon learning from her son that a teacher refused to let him eat it, Griffiths felt they were passing judgment on her parenting choices.
"My son's lunch box is very well balanced," she says in the video. "He gets everything from dairy to fruit, to sandwiches, to cold meats. Lots of selection and lots of variety."
Griffiths' son Carter attends a public "prep" school in Queensland, which is between kindergarten and first grade. She declined to name the institution.
"It was really upsetting for me as a parent to watch my child cry because he wasn't allowed to eat a little slice of cake," the mother of two told Insider on Monday. "Every meal since then, my son has said, 'Oh mom, is this healthy? Is this healthy?'... It's already having that impact where he's questioning what's on his plate."
"In this house, I just say all food is healthy," she added.
Griffiths' duty as a parent, as she also explained on TikTok, is to provide enough food variety to meet her son's nutritional needs, but she believes he should be free to choose what he wants to eat.
The next day, Griffiths said she sent Carter to school with the cake already unwrapped. But she ultimately decided to broach a "calm and informal conversation" with Carter's classroom teacher — a different instructor with whom she has a good relationship.
The teacher acknowledged the aide's comment seemed "really weird," Griffiths told Insider, and wondered whether there had been a miscommunication. The teacher and Griffiths ultimately reached an agreement: "If it's in the lunchbox, it means he has permission from his parent to eat it," she said — and in whatever order he chooses.
That said, Carter's teacher did inform Griffiths that discussing healthy and unhealthy foods was part of the school curriculum. While the TikToker disagrees with the school's plans, she does not plan to formally raise that issue.
Griffiths said this ordeal struck a personal chord, given her own body image struggles.
"I personally can recall a number of times where people have made comments about what I'm eating when I was younger," she said. "It stuck with me as an adult and I literally go to therapy to try and undo those negative thought processes."
Commenters have resoundingly agreed with her decision to confront the school. Some who identified as parents said they've sent notes with their kids' lunches to stress their authority.
"I sent a note to my kids school telling them that until they supply his food then they have no say. Period," one person wrote.
But with virality, some negativity has flourished, Griffiths said, including viewers alleging that she's attacking her son's school, and she's now concerned "the school community or the teachers might be a bit abrasive towards" her and her son because they're worried she's "always causing a stir."
But even as things are blowing over, Griffiths said she will continue to discuss food shaming on her channel.
"I very vocally reject diet culture," she said, "and so my goal is to continue to challenge that."
