My teenage daughter pierced her own navel without telling me

DEAR DEIDRE: MY daughter has pierced her own navel and our weekend away turned into a huge family row because of it.

She’s nearly 16 and I’m her mum. I’m 39.

She was doing her GCSEs and I know she was under a lot of stress but she asked if she could have a piercing for her birthday and I told her no.

Apart from her having her ears pierced, I don’t understand why she would want this done.

It will get caught in her clothes and I’m worried about her ­getting an infection.

We went as a family to my mother’s caravan when the weather got warmer.

My daughter was getting dressed when I walked in and saw her trying to dab her navel with cotton wool.

She told me she’d done it herself – her friend had shown her how.
I was so annoyed that I grounded her and took her phone away.

She’s not speaking to me now, but if I don’t say anything, she’ll think she can do what she wants without considering the risks of things.

DEIDRE SAYS:  That’s very true but she’s being a typical teenager. Remember what you were like at 16.

She knows her boundaries and the fact that she initially asked for permission shows that deep down she’s a good kid.

I’m sure you’d prefer to at least be civil to one another.

Be the adult here and tell her how much you love her and explain to her why you didn’t want her to have this particular piercing.

Show her how best to keep it clean. Your pharmacist or local salon may be able to help.

She may feel it’s sore and remove it anyway.

Punishments like you’ve handed out may make her shy away from telling you something more important in future so pick your battles carefully.

There’s further advice in my Troubled Teenagers support pack.

Pictures posed by models.