Guess what! Trump supporters are being scammed out of their savings by unscrupulous actors on sketchy websites. Trump supporters! The savviest Homo sapiens this side of the Heaven’s Gate cult. Only they’re not waiting for the Hale-Bopp comet to spirit them away to a long-awaited elysian paradise. Oh, no. They’re counting on an even more implausible scenario—one in which Donald Trump improves their lives in some tangible way. Which is about as likely as Louie Gohmert discovering the Higgs boson in a box of Count Chocula—but hey, hope springs eternal.
A new report from NBC News reveals that some Trump supporters have been greedily buying up “Trump Bucks” online, only to discover they’re not real currency! No, really. Items called “Trump Bucks” that are sold on the internet by little-known vendors are totally worthless. Important scam alert, folks. Do not fall for this. I see you dragging them into your Amazon shopping cart along with that original Rembrandt oil painting of Starsky and Hutch. Stop now before it’s too late!
According to NBC News, one Trumpy who failed to heed these warnings is a fella by the name of John Amann, who bought $2,200 worth of Trump Bucks and “other items” in the past year before attempting to cash them in at his local bank. For some reason, though, his bank didn’t honor them. What?! How can that be? Well, maybe because you’re never supposed to cash in Trump Bucks. Because exchanging them for cash devalues them instantly! After all, how could something with a picture of Ben Franklin—who wasn’t even a president—possibly be worth more than a sepia-toned image of Trump screaming at that kid mowing the White House lawn? (I don’t know if this is the photo they chose for Trump Bucks, but seriously, what could possibly be better?)
