LITTLE Mix’s Jesy Nelson has told of her mental health battles during nearly ten years with the band, and admitted: “I was never prepared . . . I was just a barmaid.”
The star, 31, also revealed she has not spoken to the other girls — Perrie Edwards, Leigh-Anne Pinnock and Jade Thirlwall — since quitting two years ago, but wishes them the best in their solo careers.
In a highly emotional chat with The Sun, Jesy said: “Being in a girl band, you are a machine going all the time. You don’t have a minute to breathe and take time out if you just need space. That was something I struggled with.
“For me my mental health issues were an ongoing thing while I was in Little Mix.
“I was struggling with my body issues, I was constantly being trolled and I really, really struggled.
“I was in it for nearly ten years. I think I was never prepared for what was to come.
“I didn’t have social media or any of that. I was just a barmaid working in Dagenham.”
Sadly, despite the “most amazing times”, Jesy couldn’t enjoy the good parts by the end.
And she is relieved she stepped away to look after herself.
Jesy added: “I will say this always, your mental health is the most important thing. You only live once so sometimes you have to stop and look after yourself.
“I needed support and help to overcome that, and there wasn’t the time while I was in the band.
“I don’t have regrets because I had to do what was right for me and I will always cherish the memories I had in Little Mix.
“So no, we haven’t talked since then. Never say never, but I honestly wish them the best on their solo journeys now, which is so exciting. That is what is so exciting about all of us.
“We are all musically different. We will all go in our own lane. I’m rooting for all of them. I honestly do wish them all the success as they are all crazy talented.”
Jesy has spent her time away from the spotlight regaining confidence — including time in therapy.
She added: “I’ve been talking about it all openly.
“Whenever you are at a low point, you always think, do what makes you happy — and music is what makes me happy and that is all I want to do.
“There was a time where I thought, ‘Is it worth it?’ But I always come back to the fact that I love music so much. It is what makes me so happy.”
The video for her new single Bad Thing features Jesy in an abusive relationship.
It was made in consultation with Women’s Aid and the video ends with an appeal to victims to seek help from the anti-domestic abuse charity.
Jesy witnessed similar abuse first hand and said: “I’ve been blown away by the response to the video and song. I wanted to reach out to as many people as possible who are experiencing domestic violence.
“It’s not my place to say who the video is based on, but I can say that it’s about a lot of women in my life who have suffered from abusive relationships.
“And that’s why it felt so right for me to make this song and make this music video because I’ve had to witness it first hand and it is horrendous.
“To watch people that you love go through it is awful.
“I don’t think it’s spoken about enough, and the amount of messages I’ve had since the video launched just shows how horribly common this issue is.
“Women’s Aid told me it takes on average over six years for women to leave an abusive relationship.
“I didn’t know how far to push it until speaking to Women’s Aid because I knew it was going to be triggering to a lot of people.
“I spoke to my friend who’s been through it. I showed the video and she cried and she got really upset.
“Then she said, ‘That’s the first time I feel like I’ve ever been understood and been really seen’.
“That was really hard-hitting for me to hear, and I felt like, ‘OK, we are on the right path with this’.
“Then she came to the video premiere last week and got upset again watching it.
“And it was crazy because she said to me — I get upset talking about it myself — she said it’s the first time that she watched it and she said she felt like, ‘Oh my God, I can’t believe I was in that and I’m out of that now’.
“She said, ‘I feel it’s the first time in my life since going through that that I’ve felt proud of myself and I feel powerful’. That alone was enough for me.”
Jesy’s return to the limelight also marks a dramatic change in sound — one which showcases her soulful vocals and songwriting abilities.
She added: “I feel like this has always been a side of me but nobody has heard it. It’s just the beginning of my solo journey.
“I honestly just wanted people to really hear me sing.
“It’s a softer, more vulnerable side of me. I wanted my music to really connect — and I wasn’t daunted by opening up. I think I’m a very open, honest person.
“I wear my heart on my sleeve. I think a lot of people know that about me. When I go into studio sessions, I actually love it because it is like a free therapy session.
“You literally just have to lay bare to whoever you’re writing with in the room.
“They have to understand and be able to know who you are and what you’ve gone through to be able to write these songs.”
Jesy said she was thrilled by the styling in the video, which is set in the late 1960s and early 1970s.
She added: “I wanted the video to reflect that this is an issue which has spanned many generations and is really a tale that is as old as time.”
An album is next in the pipeline and Jesy explained: “I am excited to be in a room full of my fans, to be able to perform for them and hold their hands. You know, really connect with them again.
“To be able to tour again and put out an album, that is the goal.”
Little Mix found fame on The X Factor in 2011 after the girls were selected from individual auditions.
They went on to become Britain’s most successful girl group since The Spice Girls and sold 60million records worldwide.
But their relationship with Simon Cowell’s SyCo label came to an end in a row over writing credits.
The band later insisted there were no hard feelings over the business dealings.
And Jesy says she has no regrets over her decision to apply for the ITV show.
She added: “Without The X Factor I wouldn’t be sat here now. There are struggles that come with being on the show but I would not be here without it.
“It was a great opportunity for young artists who are trying to make it but can’t, and gave me a huge platform for everyone to see.”
Jesy believes there is room for The X Factor to return but like many new shows it would need aftercare and support networks for the contestants.
She added: “They are doing it now, with Love Island, or with our Little Mix show a few years ago — there was a therapist and people on hand to make sure people were OK.
“I’ve no regrets. I’m very resilient. I have been through a lot of s**t and had some amazing times.
“So I am so grateful for every opportunity that comes my way
“If you don’t have the lows you will never appreciate the highs, that is what I truly believe.
“It makes the highs feel out of this world. I believe in rain and sunshine.”
EVERYONE has said that it sounds like a Bond theme.
It’s crazy because if you heard the song without the strings, you wouldn’t say it sounds like a Bond song at all.
As soon as someone gets an orchestra on the song, it sounds like a Bond song.
I GREW up without social media, and then I was told: “You’ve got to have this and that.”
Then you’re seeing what the whole world is saying about you.
When you are that young girl and you have never been exposed to that, it is a lot to handle. As I have gotten older, I feel really sorry for the people that are constantly saying nasty things.
You learn to ignore it but it is easier said than done. I limit my time on social media.
I LOVE Married At First Sight. I love all of them but I feel like the Australian one, is more ruthless.
I love learning why people do certain things in relationships.
I love learning about people. Would I go on it? Absolutely not.
I LOVE boxing. I love any exercise that stops me thinking.
I am a dancer as well and boxing for me is like dancing as it’s different combinations.
I love being with friends at home, looking like s***, eating s and watching s***.
DO you know who I love? Dave. I’m obsessed with him. If I’m going old school, Usher, I love Mary J Blige, and Jazmine Sullivan.
I love soulful music, music that really gets me. I feel everything they are saying.
