My wife’s anger issues are putting me off from trying to make our marriage work
DEAR DEIDRE: THE marriage is broken and my wife thinks we should have counselling – but I just can’t see the point.
She’s impossible to live with and we argue all the time.
Although I love our daughter, I don’t think I can stay married to this woman for the next 20 years.
We’ve been together for five years and have a little girl, who is three.
I’m 35 and my wife is 32. She and I haven’t been getting on for quite a while, since she had a miscarriage.
She’s always frustrated and angry about something.
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It’s not just me she argues with. It’s also the neighbours, her colleagues and our friends.
I’ve tried my best but I’ve lost faith in her and don’t think things will get better. But I don’t want to stop being a full-time dad or to give my wife the house.
She can’t see that she’s the problem and thinks a counsellor could magically fix things between us.
DEIDRE SAYS: Rather than dealing with the source of her unhappiness, your wife is expressing it as anger.
Her miscarriage may be at its root.
The fact she wants to have counselling suggests she knows she needs help and wants to communicate with you, but doesn’t know how.
Don’t reject counselling out of hand.
Surely it is worth trying, for the sake of the marriage and your daughter.
My support pack on Counselling will tell you more about the process and where to access help. Relate (relate.org.uk) is a good place to start.