AFTER losing husband Gary in 2011, Louise Speed said she was “just functioning” and thought she would never love again.
Tragically, the man who changed that – second husband Quinton Bird – has been cruelly taken from her after he lost his battle with brain cancer.
The 53-year-old property developer died last summer, it emerged this week. His family say he was diagnosed with the aggressive cancer two years ago.
The double heartbreak came just six months after the couple tied the knot, in December 2021, in a romantic ceremony at Peckforton Castle in Cheshire.
In an interview marking the tenth anniversary of Gary’s death from suspected suicide, shortly before the wedding, Louise revealed how she had built up a “body of armour” after the tragedy but had finally found happiness in her new relationship.
She admitted the loss of her childhood sweetheart, at the age of 41, had left her devastated, angry and unable to get off the sofa.
“I was lonely. Anyone who loses someone will tell you about that. It’s not having someone there to do nothing with, if that makes sense,” she told the Daily Mail.
“If I am honest, I used to think I was OK on my own until I had no choice. Everything came to me all in one hit. The pain, the loneliness, the abandonment, the devastation, the shock, the hurt. It was all about getting through in the early days.”
Louise, 52, who started dating future football star Gary when she was just 15, and Quinton had a blended family.
She had two sons – Thomas, now 25, and Edward, 24 – with Gary, while Quinton was a dad-of-three.
It was Thomas who initially helped lift Louise out of her all-consuming grief after Gary died at their Cheshire home, asking a neighbour to come and sit with her.
This proved to be the first step to her leaving the house and seeing other people.
For two years Louise had struggled to get off the sofa and used alcohol to numb the pain.
She admitted the boys, just 14 and 13 when they lost their dad, only had “half a mum”.
She described her childhood sweetheart’s death as “like being in the worst nightmare possible” and feared “nothing was ever going to be right again”.
“I would be laid on the couch every night after 6pm — just staring somewhere and kind of just being there,” she told the Mail.
I would be laid on the couch every night after 6pm – just staring somewhere and kind of just being there
Louise Speed
“I was trudging through life, just functioning. If I could have been anybody else apart from me, for a long time, I would have happily taken it.”
She eventually sought grief counselling and began to deal with Gary’s death – although she revealed it took a long time to let go of the anger she felt towards him.
An inquest ruled there was insufficient evidence to determine whether Gary’s death had been intentional suicide or a “dramatic gesture” that went wrong.
Louise said it was only when she released that anger that she felt “a little bit vulnerable”, as it had kept her strong.
“You do have to start feeling real emotions again, though,” she explained. “If you don’t then you don’t move on.”
Although Louise has not spoken publicly about her relationship with Quinton, she revealed she had found love again in 2021, adding: “It’s a cliche but time is a healer even if it takes years.
“I have learned that life can be good again, can be great again.
“I have myself back and the boys have all of their mum back.”
Although she said she still thinks of Gary “every day”, her romance with Quinton undoubtedly helped her deal with her grief and move on.
As joint directors of Bow Property Development in Chester, the couple had been business partners for six years before their 2021 wedding.
Louise wore a white lace gown with intricate detailing across the sleeves and train for the lavish ceremony and the couple were pictured in a room decorated with white hydrangeas and roses.
It’s a cliche but time is a healer even if it takes years
Louise Speed
Gary’s close friend Alan Shearer was among the guests on the big day.
But within months Louise was plunged into grief once again.
Last summer Quinton’s daughter Claudia, 17, set up a GoFundMe page to raise money for the Brain Tumour Research in honour of her dad, who died on June 25.
The following month his dad Roy paid tribute to his son after a fundraising event for the charity in the North East.
He wrote: “[My wife] Jenny and I have been blessed with two caring and generous sons who have grown into wonderful fathers and hard-working individuals… To lose one of them at such a young age is beyond words.
“Thanks to Quinton, Jenny, Justin, our six beautiful grandchildren, two daughters-in-law, and I are left with a wealth of beautiful and extraordinary memories.”
Tragically, before her marriage to Quinton, Louise revealed her fear of being put through the heartbreak of loss a second time.
“I tend to wear a body of armour around me the whole time, if I am honest — so that I cannot be hurt again,” she said.
“I don’t know if that body of armour has developed over time or whether I deliberately put it on at some point. All I know is that it is there now and it wasn’t 10 years ago.
“I just want to protect myself from life. I don’t want to feel or go through anything like that ever again.”
EVERY 90 minutes in the UK a life is lost to suicide.
It doesn’t discriminate, touching the lives of people in every corner of society – from the homeless and unemployed to builders and doctors, reality stars and footballers.
It’s the biggest killer of people under the age of 35, more deadly than cancer and car crashes.
And men are three times more likely to take their own life than women.
Yet it’s rarely spoken of, a taboo that threatens to continue its deadly rampage unless we all stop and take notice, now.
That is why The Sun launched the You’re Not Alone campaign.
The aim is that by sharing practical advice, raising awareness and breaking down the barriers people face when talking about their mental health, we can all do our bit to help save lives.
Let’s all vow to ask for help when we need it, and listen out for others… You’re Not Alone.
If you, or anyone you know, needs help dealing with mental health problems, the following organisations provide support:
