When I almost lost myself, you helped me ditch my gaslighting Ex

DEAR DEIDRE: I WROTE to you because I was unhappy in my relationship, but I couldn’t put my finger on why.

Even though I loved my boyfriend, I felt insecure and paranoid.

We had been together for three years. I’m 35 and he’s 36.

He told me repeatedly how much he loved me. But he was always putting pictures of himself topless, with ­bulging muscles, on Instagram, and liking snaps of scantily-clad women.

When I said I felt uncomfortable, he said I was being a control freak.

My friends said I wasn’t myself. I had become thin, quiet and my confidence had vanished.

You told me he was an attention-seeker who needed the endorsement of other women.

You said the relationship sounded unhealthy and that he was gaslighting me by making me feel I was the one with the problem – a form of abuse.

You gave me your support packs, Abusive Partner and Addictive Love.

Since reading these, I’ve realised you were right. I have finally left him and blocked contact.

My friends have noticed I’m my old self again.

Thank you.

DEIDRE SAYS:  It’s great to hear you sounding much more positive.

I hope you can now find someone who loves and respects you.