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In a deposition taken for her rape lawsuit against former President Donald Trump, writer E. Jean Carroll said she "never" considered coming forward with her accusations until the #MeToo movement.
"Women who have been raped are looked at in this society as less, are looked at as spoiled goods, are looked at as rather dumb, to let themselves get attacked," Carroll said in the deposition.
Carroll was being questioned by Trump's attorney Alina Habba for the deposition, which took place on October 14 in New York City.
The former Elle magazine columnist said that before the #MeToo movement, women who made rape accusations had often been questioned about their experiences. She's one of at least 26 women who have accused Trump of sexual misconduct.
"I mean even you have to say, 'Did you scream?'" Carroll said in response to Habba's questioning. "I mean every woman who admits to being attacked has to answer that question, 'Why didn't you scream, why did you come forward when you did, why didn't you come forward before' and so no, I didn't — I would have been fired."
Carroll first publicly accused Trump of rape in her 2019 memoir, an excerpt of which was published by New York Magazine before her book's publication. She said Trump raped her in the dressing room of the Bergdorf Goodman department store near Trump Tower in the fall of 1995 or spring of 1996.
"I stepped into the room, the door was banged closed and he pushed me up against the wall," Carroll said in the newly filed deposition excerpt.
"I felt his fingers rummaging around my vagina and this huge weight against me. My head hurt, this huge weight," Carroll added later in the deposition. "I'm in a situation where I can't — I can't — at one point I remember saying, 'This is Donald Trump, what the heck is going on?' And then I felt his penis inside of me."
Trump denied Carroll's allegation and called her a liar, prompting Carroll to file a defamation lawsuit against him. In November, she filed a new lawsuit, permitted by the Adult Survivors Act, which allows the filing of sexual assault lawsuits in cases where the statute of limitations expired.
Excerpts from Carroll's deposition were publicly filed in the new lawsuit's docket on Monday night as part of a case management plan, where lawyers for Trump and Carroll proposed how to move the two lawsuits forward.
Trump was deposed for Carroll's first lawsuit on October 19 at his Mar-a-Lago country club in Florida, but the contents of his deposition are redacted from the public court filings.
Former White House press secretary and former Elle Editor-in-Chief Robbie Myers were also deposed in the lawsuit, along with others who had knowledge of Carroll's allegation and Trump's denials.
In her deposition, Carroll said it took time to understand the impact the alleged attack had on her life.
"Four or five years ago I would have told you it had no effect. I'm as good as new. This is great. I'm fine. I rarely think of it," Carroll said. "But I've come to understand that the rape changed my life, which is shocking for me to now understand."
