Harriette Cole: How do I get my girlfriend to look for a job?

DEAR HARRIETTE: My girlfriend feels stuck at her current job.

She has an impressive résumé, and I know she’s overqualified for the job she has now. Anyone would hire someone like her.

She doesn’t want to be without income, but I can see how miserable this current job is making her.

I don’t know how to get her to take a leap of faith. How do I encourage her to start the journey of at least searching for a job?

Leap of Faith

DEAR LEAP OF FAITH: While your girlfriend may be overqualified for her job, it sounds like she needs some confidence-boosting in order to push forward to what’s next.

Start by encouraging her to update her résumé. Ask her to talk through it with you so that she says out loud what her qualifications are, what she has learned and where she could be headed. Suggest that she go on LinkedIn and look for jobs in her area of interest.

She can go on virtual job interviews just to get a sense of what’s out there. She can consider it a fun activity to talk to potential employers about what they do and how she might fit in. If she starts the conversations purely as an exploration, the performance pressure will be off.

Encourage her to take this step. It can help build her confidence for making a move.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a number of health challenges that I have been dealing with for a few years. Nobody in my life really knows about them.

I take my medication, I stay in touch with my doctors, but in the past year I haven’t been exercising or doing the physical maintenance work that I promised to do. I’m doing OK, but I know I could be doing better.

I’m about to have a physical, and I’m worried that my doctor is going to be disappointed in me.

I feel like I should cancel my appointment. I can’t take the stress of letting anybody else down. I am the one who is called upon in my family to hold everything together. It is hard for me, and I’m not doing so well right now.

I’m thinking if I start my exercise program now and then postpone my appointment for six months, I will have better results when I go in. Does that sound crazy?

Too Much Pressure

DEAR TOO MUCH PRESSURE: Please do not cancel your doctor’s appointment.

Consider your doctor an ally. Be honest at your appointment. Explain that you haven’t done all that you were asked to do or promised to do. State where you are physically and emotionally. Be as forthcoming as possible.

This will help your doctor to be able to evaluate the status of your health and make informed recommendations. If you don’t tell the truth, you may end up with advice or even medication that doesn’t suit your needs right now.

Also, be honest about what you think you are willing to do moving forward. For example, don’t pledge to run 5 miles a day if you don’t walk 1 mile a week now. Be realistic. And ask for help in all areas where you have needs. You can get referrals for a dietician, physical therapist, mental health professional and more.

Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.