DEAR DEIDRE: SHE has cheated on me before and now I’m paranoid my wife may be up to her old tricks again.
I’m 45, she’s 42 and we have been married for 23 years. We have two teenage sons, one at home and one at university.
I work as a salesman, and despite having had plenty of opportunities for one-night stands while on the road, I’ve never strayed. My wife works part-time in a bank.
Things were difficult when we first got married. We were always arguing and she admitted to having a fling with a random guy on a night out.
She then cheated on me with a guy who’d come to service our boiler — I walked in on them having sex in our kitchen.
She broke down, saying it was a big mistake and she felt pressured into having sex with him.
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We had our baby son to think about so I forgave her and we tried to make things work between us.
But last summer I caught Covid and she moved in with her stepbrother.
The plan was she’d stay until I was clear, but then she made feeble excuses about why she couldn’t come home.
My son misses her and so do I but she won’t talk about what’s happening.
Last week she called saying she was thinking of coming back. I was delighted and said I’d go and pick her up straight away, but then she backtracked.
She said she was busy and suggested this coming weekend as her stepbrother is going on holiday.
I’m in a right state. I want her back but I’m suspicious she may have been having another fling — with her stepbrother.
DEIDRE SAYS: She may simply have needed space. The good news is, she’s returning home.
Find time to talk to her and make sure you really listen to her.
Explain that you love her and you’ve missed her and, if something isn’t right for her, ask her to share her thoughts.
Tell her you’ve been worried about your relationship and want to work things through.
When she’s home, don’t take one another for granted. You can still do date nights and plan romantic trips away. Really invest in your marriage.
My support pack, Relationship MOT, may help, but if things don’t improve, contact a counsellor through the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, (bacp.co.uk, 01455 883300) to help work through the issues.
