DEAR DEIDRE: I DIDN’T tell my partner about my first wife and daughter as we don’t see each other.
I thought it would make me look like I’m not a good dad or not very responsible.
The divorce was really bitter and my daughter even told me I was dead to her.
Now my partner says I humiliated her and is threatening to leave because I lied.
My partner is 49, and I’m 55. We met online last year, through Plenty of Fish.
Everything was going smoothly until my eldest daughter, now 35, sent me a birthday card for the first time in about five years.
When my partner spotted the card, she asked who Emma was, and why she was calling me “Dad”.
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It sparked a huge argument, and now she’s staying at her sister’s.
What can I do to fix things between us?
DEIDRE SAYS: This was quite a big omission to make.
Plus, it was only a matter of time before she discovered the truth.
Be honest with her as you have been with me.
Explain you were worried about how it would come across.
Trust is key to a lasting relationship, and it will take time and effort to rebuild.
Consider some couples counselling with Tavistock Relationships (tavistockrelationships.org, 020 7380 1960) to help you get back on track.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
In terms of your daughter, suggest a phone call or a walk.
She has made a small step, and would probably appreciate you doing the same.
