VA authorizes veterans to stop growing beards
WASHINGTON — In a major shift after decades of strict grooming standards for veterans, the Department of Veterans Affairs announced today that men would no longer be required to grow beards immediately upon separation from the U.S. military.
“This is going to be controversial, no question,” said Secretary of Veterans Affairs Denis McDonough. “For good reasons, we’ve had an inflexible rule since Vietnam mandating male veterans grow as massive and bristly a beard as fast as possible as soon as they were no longer a member of the armed services. This was to help every veteran look as though they had ‘seen some shit’ and suggest they were maybe high-speed operators.
“But times change,” he continued. “And frankly we’re not fooling anyone.”
The VA has been reluctant to update standards for male veteran grooming despite pressure from the spouses of many veterans who argue that their husbands look as though they transformed into hillbillies within a few weeks of separation.
“At first I had no problem with the beard because after all those years of having to be clean shaven, it was great for him to have that freedom,” said Kathryn Taylor, the wife of a recently separated Army sergeant. “I didn’t realize he was actually conforming to VA Regulations which stated he had to look like he had been marooned on a desert island for years within ‘six months of leaving the service.’