ALEX Scott broke down in tears as she recalled to Steve Bartlett how her abusive father wouldn’t let her hug her mum after a beating.
The former Arsenal and England star, 37, opened up about her childhood as she spoke to the Dragon’s Den star ahead of releasing her brand new memoir, How (Not) to Be Strong.
Alex’s voice was strained and she battled tears as she told of how her father would be violent toward her mother.
She then recalled the “hardest night”.
Alex told Steve in a video posted to his Youtube channel: “I’m in a room, listening to everything go on, just hoping she’s alive.
“I heard everything, I heard her trying to run.
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“But she doesn’t know what me and my brother are doing or feeling.
“That was the hardest night that one.”
She says the house was just silent the next morning, and she wasn’t allowed to even speak to, let alone hug, her mother.
Alex said: “As a 5-6 year old, I just want to hug my mum. But we can’t. I wasn’t allowed to show love.
“I suppose that’s why a word like control is easy to say – until you break it down and understand that’s the control.
“I’m not even allowed to show love, or hug, or speak really.”
Steve asked why she wasn’t allowed to hug her mother and Alex said her father said she couldn’t – and there would be consequences.
It was that homelife that drove Alex to football, as she says it was a “safe space”.
When Steve asked what the consequence would be she said: “What my mum would go through, the terror, the helplessness that you can’t do anything, just living in fear.
“You’re living in fear every single moment.
“That’s why the football cage becomes your escape, for me.”
I’m not even allowed to show love, or hug, or speak really.
Alex Scott
Alex tells all in her book, but admitted it was one of the first times she’d truly opened up about her life.
She told Steve: “It’s hard for me to talk about, because I suppose I’ve hid it all this time.”
Alex added: “But because of everything that I’ve gone through, I am the person I am now.
“You have to take the good bits, and bad bits, and it’s what makes me me.”
Alex has opened up about many unknown parts of her life this week, including when she was racially abused and trolled online.
She also fought back tears on The One Show as she recalled hitting rock bottom during an alcohol battle.
Alex also spoke about her love life, and how she had been in a secret relationship with her fellow Lioness star Kelly Smith – and a disaterous date she went on with Coronation Street’s Sam Robertson.
Women's Aid has this advice for victims and their families:
If you are a victim of domestic abuse, SupportLine is open Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday from 6pm to 8pm on 01708 765200. The charity’s email support service is open weekdays and weekends during the crisis – messageinfo@supportline.org.uk.
Women’s Aid provides a live chat service – available weekdays from 8am-6pm and weekends 10am-6pm.
You can also call the freephone 24-hour National Domestic Abuse Helpline on 0808 2000 247.
