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Boyfriend has Asperger’s syndrome and won’t move in with his daughter and me

DEAR DEIDRE: MY boyfriend won’t move in with me and our daughter because he’s scared of change.

He’s 35, has Asperger’s syndrome and lives with his parents. His mother does everything for him. I’m 38.

He keep saying he needs to get used to the idea

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He’s kind and sweet-natured. We’ve been together for six years.

I was desperate to have a child and we had our daughter four years ago.

She’s got ADHD and she’s a real handful but because he doesn’t live with me, I feel like a single mum.

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I’ve asked him regularly to move in with us, but he says he needs to get used to the idea.

At the moment, he stays over one night a week but always seems to arrive as our daughter is going to bed

DEIDRE SAYS: Asperger’s or not, he’s a parent too.

He has to take part in bringing up your little girl or jeopardise his father/daughter relationship.

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He should build up being around you and his daughter gradually, staying a whole weekend, then for three or four days until it becomes easier for him.

Learn more by reading Aspergers In Love by Maxine Aston available from the library or bookshops.

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