Courtesy of Anmol Irfan
Just last week, I was hoping to meet a deadline and ended up worrying and constantly checking my email until 1 a.m. because a source I was supposed to interview hadn't replied when they'd said they would.
While it was 1 a.m. here in Pakistan, it was 4 p.m. in New York — a perfectly reasonable time for someone to reply. This wasn't the first time I'd been working in the small hours of the morning. I spent most of my last Ramadan — a monthlong fast that's a part of Islamic religious practice — conducting source interviews at 2 a.m..
I kept telling myself that all this is OK for a freelancer who works flexible hours from home. But at some point, "flexibility" somehow morphed into "all the time."
Eventually, the anxiety of always waiting for an email, running between family dinners and work interviews, or checking my email before I brushed my teeth overwhelmed me.
Instead of setting my own boundaries, I'd let work — which was often unpredictable and usually in a totally different time zone — start defining my life.
Luckily, what happened last week is now the exception rather than the rule. For the last two months, I've been being a lot more deliberate about the boundaries I set between working hours and my personal life.
But I did need to define when I was and wasn't working.
To help do it, I reached out to Marissa Goldberg, the founder of Remote Work Prep, a remote-work consultancy.
She told me that "everyone should have a clear start and end to their workday. If you're instantly checking work notifications as soon as you wake up or leaving your end of workday up to a feeling of 'done,' you're doing it wrong."
For me, that started with getting attached to my physical planner — a ring binder with monthly and daily calendars as well as a section for budgeting and notes — to help me disconnect from screens.
I now try to spend Saturdays planning for the week ahead, setting down bigger goals for each coming weekday. I then revise those each morning.
I start by noting down exactly what I have scheduled at specific times, and what I can fit around those events.
Last week, I had a source that could only speak to me at 8 p.m. The old me would have worked all day and then through the interview — but this time I finished my other scheduled work, took a break around 4 p.m. and then got back on my laptop for the interview.
When I've ticked off my list for the day, I no longer sit aimlessly scrolling on my laptop because I feel I need to be productive.
So I've become very friendly with my phone's "Do Not Disturb" feature, which eliminates post-working day notifications from anyone bar the few people I've added as exceptions.
To keep myself on track, I usually try to keep my working hours between 10 a.m. and 6p.m. but this can fluctuate due to time-sensitive deadlines. So on days when a rigid schedule isn't possible, I set a goal for a certain number of working hours and then switch off when that's over.
I usually only allow notifications from family and friends, and will check my other notifications just once before sleeping in case any urgent emails have come in.
Goldberg suggested I create an "intentional transition," which she compared with a "personalized commute," between my work and personal life.
"This could be anything from a walk around the block, cleaning with your favorite podcast, or taking a bath," she told me.
I always work in the same spot so, for me, the above means that when I leave it, I try and dissociate. I also often schedule non-work activities that can include cooking a meal, reading a book or painting — anything that helps me disconnect from my screen after being on my laptop all day.
It's easy to think that I'll get less tired because I feel so passionately about some of the topics I report on.
But I need to get better at resting as part of my regular routine and not when my body is already exhausted from a lack of rest, Goldberg said.
"Don't just add in breaks when you're exhausted. Breaks are most effective at preventing burnout if you apply them regularly and before you feel like you need them," she said.
There are still times when I overwork, like last week. But over the last two months, I've really stuck to Goldberg's advice.
Now my work days are scheduled to give me a lunch break. I have enough time for me to practice my newfound love for aerial fitness three times a week. I've read more books in the past two months than I did in the previous six. I stop as soon as my task list is over, and intentionally take a break in the middle when I know I have work scheduled for later than 6 p.m..
I also write down ideas or notes in my planner after my work day if I have any, instead of reopening my laptop.
If I do that, I know I'll get stuck in a work loop again.