Whoa, Slow Down There, Partner: This Cloud Is Really Hauling Ass For Some Reason
Some folks simply don’t know how to take a load off and relax, and one hasty little fella we just met could really stand to learn how to live life in a lower gear: This cloud is really hauling ass for some reason.
Chill out, buddy—no cloud needs to be moving that fast!
It’s a beautiful day outside and we’re enjoying an idle afternoon of sitting around watching the world go by, but the same can’t be said for the big fluffy cloud that’s fucking booking it across the sky like it’s got a pack of wild dogs hot on its heels. Nice days like today are made for dawdling, and for this cloud to zip along so quick you could almost give yourself whiplash trying to follow it with your eyes, well, there’s really just no good reason for it. We believe that everyone should be free to go about their business at their own pace, of course, but when a cloud’s hotfooting it at such a wild clip that we get secondhand exhaustion merely from watching, someone really needs to take the cloud aside and say, “Slow your roll, amigo. You’ll hurry yourself into an early grave!”
Why this poor floating bastard feels compelled to hurtle through the atmosphere at such breakneck speeds is anyone’s guess. It’s not like it’s blocking the sun. It’s not in anyone’s way at all! We could maybe understand the urgency if it was in a rush to deliver replenishing rainfall to one of the many drought-stricken regions around the country, but this definitely isn’t a rain cloud. It’s just a normal cloud zipping across the sky like a lunatic. Maybe it’s scared of something? That’s all we can think of. But again, clouds don’t really have predators, or enemies of any kind, so we’ve still got no clue what lit a fire under this cloud’s ass to make it move like there’s some sort of emergency somewhere.
Far be it from us to understand why a cloud would choose to fucking leg it instead of calmly floating around like clouds normally do. It’s just weird, is all.
It’s honestly kind of a shame this cloud can’t bring itself to slow down and smell the roses a bit. It must have a great view of the trees and the river and the town from up there, not to mention how clean the air must be, but even the most splendid wonders of nature aren’t enough to put our Type A little buddy here off its mad dash to wherever. We guess there’s no convincing it otherwise at this point, so we’ll just have to appreciate the lovely day on its behalf. Sorry it had to be like this, pal.
Well, looks like the little guy’s almost out of sight. Here’s hoping it gets wherever it needs to be soon so it can finally ease up and dial things back a notch!