Does Meghan Markle not see the irony in moaning about having stifled ambitions on £18m podcast?
WE have all had jobs we were not very good at.
After a few days, or even hours, in the new role, it becomes clear that you’re either completely out of your depth or you loathe it so much that the memory of a fortnightly phone call from heavy-sigh-Sue at the Job Centre suddenly feels like a warm blanket.
After you leave, or are fired, there are two options. You can admit you’re bad at the job, or you can blame the management.
Meghan Markle seems to do the latter.
It’s fair to say, Meghan was not good at the job of being a member of the Royal Family.
Rather than putting her hands up and admitting that she hated spending her days in musty-smelling community centres having stilted conversations with the general public, she blamed her bosses. It certainly wasn’t anything to do with her.
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And now I can safely say, having listened to her new podcast, Archetypes, that Meghan is also not good at the job of hosting a podcast — despite the £18million Spotify has stumped up for it.
Yes, she has the smooth, soft voice of a Disney princess and can fill gaps in conversations with Instagram-worthy self-help jargon, like: “That’s growth, that’s dimensionality.”
But it is Meghan’s interview ‘technique’ that immediately falls flat. As it mostly involves talking about herself.
The first episode of Archetypes, entitled The Misconception Of Ambition, has tennis superstar and Meghan’s “dear friend” Serena Williams as the guest.
But if you’re keen to hear about Serena’s pushy dad, Richard, any of her 23 Grand Slam wins or even her reaction to ‘That Slap’ by Will Smith who then collected an Oscar playing her father in King Richard, think again.
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A full 11 minutes pass without a word from the former world No1, while Meghan discusses motherhood, ambition and how her “lived experience will help other women open up.”
Did you hear that ladies? Forget about paying the gas bill and don’t worry about juggling childcare — the multi-millionaire Duchess of Sussex is here to get us all to open up. She understands us.
When Serena is finally allowed to start speaking about how difficult she can find public life, Meghan sees this as an opportunity to talk about, well, Meghan, saying: “When you have to see things that are mischaracterising of me, and you experience behind closed doors what has been painful for me.”
Sir David Frost she is not.
What seeps out of this podcast’s pores is that Meghan’s main gripe is, clearly, with the royals, who she insists stifled her incredible talents and potential.
Having grown up as a girl who courageously fought against sexism by writing to Procter & Gamble about a dishwasher advert targeting only women — and telling this widely publicised anecdote as her introduction to the podcast — the former actress claims she never knew “ambition was a negative thing” for women.
That was until, she says “I started dating my now husband”.
But how can this be? It simply jars with us Brits who have watched the world’s most ambitious woman, The Queen, dedicate her life to serving this country.
A country, which is soon likely to have its third female Prime Minister.
While the royals might feel clammy-palmed about Meghan’s strange desire to be a victim even if that makes them the villains, there is one thing they should feel truly ashamed of, Harry.
Now only allowed to have the odd walk-on part in Meghan’s World — pointing out chickens to Oprah Winfrey or juggling during Meghan’s 40th birthday video — the Prince is given a few seconds to, once again, be the nice-but-dim jester.
“Look who just popped in!” Meghan exclaims, as though the visit is spontaneous and Harry is allowed to do anything without it having already gone through the Markle PR machine. “You wanna come say hi?”
Taking his cue, the Prince, who is the reason why she now has a multi-million pound podcast, trundles in and says to Serena: ‘I like what you’ve done with your hair, that’s a good vibe.”
Serena replies: “Thank you. Good to see you too as always, I miss you guys.”
With a slight transatlantic drawl, Harry says: ‘”Well, come and see us.”
And with a quick “thanks, my love” from Meghan, he is gone.
While I’m desperate for Meghan to ask one tennis question, there is no such luck, but nearly half the podcast is about pregnancy, being a mother and how brave they both are.
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Meghan has all the contacts, money and confidence to keep this gig going for a while.
But this is the wrong job for her. And this time she can’t blame the management.