My partner treats her daughter like a princess and it’s damaging
DEAR DEIDRE: MY partner treats her daughter like a little princess and I fear it’s damaging her.
The child is almost five and yet my partner acts like she’s still a baby.
She can’t dress herself or feed herself.
I’m not a parent but I’m sure that’s not normal.
I’m 38 and my partner is 34. We’ve been together for two years.
I would like to marry her one day, which would make me the stepdad.
But she won’t take any parenting advice from me, and when I express my concerns she tells me I’m not a father, and don’t have the right to an opinion.
She says her daughter is still very young and will do things when she’s ready.
It’s causing lots of arguments between us.
It’s also ruining our sex life – you can’t be intimate when a four-year-old climbs into your bed every night.
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I think she’s overcompensating because her ex was abusive, and they had a really nasty divorce.
I’m genuinely worried the girl is being spoiled and not being allowed to grow up.
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DEIDRE SAYS: Your instincts may be correct; your partner may be particularly protective of her daughter as a result of the traumatic time she had with her ex.
Gently encourage your girlfriend to give her daughter more opportunities to develop, and praise her every time she puts on, or takes off her socks for example.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
She’ll be starting school in September and needs to be encouraged to dress and feed herself.
Reassure your partner that you love her and only want to support them both. Contact familylives.org.uk (0800 808 2222) for advice