Borg Cube and Picard Plushies Must Be Assimilated

Because Kidrobot refuses to stop taking my money, the toy company is releasing a $50 combo plushie pack featuring an LED-lit Borg Cube and Locutus of Borg (the Borg designation for Captain Jean-Luc Picard after his assimilation in 2366). Obviously, these will be perfect for cuddling during a weekend-long Star Trek: The Next Generation marathon.

The Borg Cube features LED lights that glow green when turned on to “create the perfect ambiance for assimilation.” I didn’t know there was a perfect ambiance for assimilation, but you learn something new every day. The top also opens to reveal a hidden compartment inside, large enough for storing Borg Picard. Like a genie in a bottle, except a Picard in a cube.

I’m surprised I even have to go through the motions of buying stuff like this; you’d think Kidrobot would just automatically deduct the cost from my bank account and ship them when they’re available. I guess they’re probably just unsure how many of a particular product I want. Which, in this case, is all of them.