Trying to get hired at the Disney parks can have a lasting negative impact on performers' mental health, according to auditionees who spoke to Insider.
Some last names have been withheld for privacy reasons. Insider verified their identities as well as their employment at the Disney parks.
Natalie, who auditioned three times, told Insider they spent hours watching videos with advice from former auditionees and Disney itself. Their takeaway from all this preparation was that there's an overwhelming narrative that the auditions are easy.
"There's a lot of language around the Disney auditions that is about, well, if you just want it enough, you can have it. And it's not necessarily true," they said. "At Disney, they're selling a dream, but at the end of the day, it's not that — it's Disney. It's a performing-arts job for one of the biggest companies in the entire world."
Because casting directors are looking for certain physical characteristics to keep consistency with the performers they've already hired in the parks, an auditionee can be rejected for a simple measurement or facial feature.
Natalie told Insider that performing as a Disney princess is "kind of like the ultimate standard of beauty" and that going after that dream was "very emotionally involved."
"I felt like when I auditioned the first time I was like, well, this is gonna be the thing that makes me mean something," they said. "I was in a really awful place with my mental health. And so it was like, 'Well, if I get this, then I matter. And if I don't get this, then I don't matter.' But it was also that brainwashing of just try, try, try, try again."
Melanie, who auditioned 13 times before getting hired as one of Cinderella's stepsisters, told Insider she wasn't immune to the effects of the 12 rejections.
"Not getting picked shouldn't mean you're not beautiful," she said. "I say 'shouldn't' because obviously you go to 13 auditions and you're 18, 19 years old, you start to internalize this stuff whether you want to or not."
Helen Planchet, who auditioned "about 60" times before being cast as Princess Elena of Avalor, said she struggled with her confidence while watching the limited BIPOC roles at the parks go to white women.
"Even though I looked more like Jasmine and Pocahontas than some of the women they cast, it didn't matter," she said.
She added, "I guess I regret letting it wear me down the way it did because I started to get very upset that I knew I was talented enough for some of these jobs and to see them go to white women, who already have so many opportunities, started to break down my confidence."
Even after landing her role, Melanie said, she still ran into issues with her self-image.
"It took me a really long time to go from feeling like, 'Oh, I'm not pretty enough to be a princess. I'm just an ugly stepsister. That's all I'll ever be,'" she said.
She also Insider that she still doesn't feel comfortable in the building where most of her auditions were held, adding that she would "immediately get diarrhea" if she returned today.
"I get so much anxiety in there every single time," she said.
Planchet said it was difficult to relive the memories of her audition process years later. But she's hoping that sharing her experience can help make the process better — especially for women of color.
"I want people to know about this, I want it to get better," she said. "So the girls who come after me don't go through this."
Representatives for Disney did not immediately respond to Insider's request for comment.