DEAR HARRIETTE: I am disappointed in the lack of help that I’m receiving from my boyfriend now that I’m pregnant.
I thought that things would be going a lot more smoothly than they are. I’m seven months pregnant with my boyfriend’s first child, but he is not making any effort to be more helpful around the house.
There are basic household tasks that need to be done on a daily basis, and, for the most part, I am still the main one doing them.
Every day it’s getting harder to get around, yet my boyfriend isn’t really doing much to accommodate me. What should I do?
Expecting
DEAR EXPECTING: You two need to sit down and have a heart-to-heart discussion about now and the future. Outline your needs today — and moving forward.
What do you want your life to look like? What role do you want your boyfriend to have in your life? Ask him how he envisions your life together once the baby comes. Let him know what your needs are today and what you anticipate for the future.
Do not scold him. Your best approach would be to inspire him to step up and accept more responsibility for his growing family.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel like a failure because I did not graduate from college.
My mom excelled in school, and she doesn’t pressure me about it, but I know she expected the same from me.
I have always kept a good job and provided for myself, but I can’t help feeling inadequate around all of my college-educated family members. What can I do to feel more respectable?
Feeling Inadequate
DEAR FEELING INADEQUATE: Being the odd person out can be difficult, especially if what makes you different doesn’t match others’ values.
Take stock of your life. What is working? What are you proud of? Are you happy with the work that you are doing today? You can become more confident in yourself by fully owning your life. That includes embracing what’s working — and what needs improvement.
I also encourage you to look a little more closely at your family members. While being a college grad is an important accomplishment that can lead to potential success, it is not a given. I know plenty of college grads who are not working or are not working in their field of interest. Life is challenging, regardless of the degree — or lack thereof — behind your name.
Take stock of what’s going on with your family members. You may find that some are struggling even though they have degrees. Do not do this exercise, by the way, to shame them. It is to show you that we all face ups and downs.
You must stand firmly in your belief about yourself and your potential. You are good enough just as you are! And if, one day, you decide to continue your education, good for you. But don’t let that degree be the be-all and end-all for your happiness.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
