(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR
PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH.)
I’m somewhere in the Jilin Province of China, with nothing but a tattered map and some take-out food chopsticks still wrapped in their paper, in case I want to snack. I’m here on a lead. Someone told me they saw the Buy/Sell column. Back in September of last year, we parted ways. When the season ends, we usually go our separate ways for a few months, but, disenchanted by the lockout, the Buy/Sell said it was going to walk the earth. I said why not walk the earth in your general vicinity in Bergen County, New Jersey. That fell on deaf ears and it embarked on its journey, which brings me to the outer Qian Mountains.
I come up on a man with a wispy mustache, “Have you seen this article series?” I hold up a Buy/Sell from last year where it said to buy
Akil Baddoo. The man points his long-fingernailed index finger up the hill to a grass hut.
I knock on the thatched door. “Hey, Buy/Sell column, hey, are you in here!” My scream echoes, and reverbs back to me with not a sound more. No indication it’s here.
Suddenly, the Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell column rises like the WWE wrestler, The Undertaker, from a cucumber garden and holds a flashlight to its face for great effect, “What do you want?”
“We need you for another year of fantasy baseball Buy/Sell columns.”
“Okay, I was bored just laying here under an inch of dirt.”
