At her largest, the author wore a size 36JJ bra. She said she was initially afraid of getting too much removed but is happy she did it.
Zuva Seven
Whenever you hear about someone's experience with big breasts, there's a focus on the physical struggles — back pain, rashes, shoulder grooves from bra straps, and an inability to exercise from shortness of breath.
These are valid issues, and I've struggled with them. But for me, the mental side effects were the hardest to deal with.
It was hard to cope when people idolized my breasts — particularly romantic partners, who'd often share just how much they loved my chest. It felt as if my body was the only part of me they enjoyed.
On top of that, I had to deal with unwanted attention. From being groped by strangers to hearing rude comments, it's no wonder I grew to resent my chest.
It took breast-reduction surgery for me to find my real confidence and happiness.
I disliked my breasts, but everyone else around me would tell me how they were my most distinct asset. I was "the girl with the big boobs." Though comments like this frustrated me, they also reinforced the belief that I'd be nothing without my boobs — almost as if the surgery would be the removal of any femininity I had.
I was concerned about going too small and suddenly being seen as undesirable. I was also worried about leaving too much tissue and finding myself no better off after the operation.
In the initial consult, my surgeon told me she'd cut me so my breasts would look proportional to my body. But there was always the chance they'd grow bigger because of hormone and weight fluctuations, so I decided to go as little as medically possible. It turns out this was the best choice for me.
While I still have my body issues, my breast reduction has made me happy. The doctor removed seven pounds of tissue, and I've gone from a 36JJ to an estimated 36C.
Whereas before I'd dress to cover up my chest, now I feel like I have a lot more freedom to express my sense of style — for instance, I was able to buy my first pretty bralette.
I no longer feel as watched as I did. As a female-presenting person, I can't escape being watched by men I don't know, but the attention I get has considerably decreased, and I feel safer in my body.
That said, it's been a learning curve. I still have to remind myself I've had the surgery — for example, when I notice habits like my hunched posture or the way I avoid pictures.
The recovery from my surgery was brutal. The pain was hard to handle, and I lost my independence . Having my mother wash me was humbling.
It can also be tough seeing your boobs post-op because of all the swelling and sutures. It takes a lot of resilience to stay optimistic and imagine the final look. I'm two months post-op, and my breasts still look a little funky. Nevertheless, I'm so happy I got the surgery.
I no longer suffer from crippling back pain, and my skin isn't raw from peeling anymore. Nothing beats the joy I feel when I look at my reflection.
I wish there was more space to talk about how isolating having big breasts feels, from friends and partners not understanding the difficulties you face to feeling like you can't access clothing options or play sports because you have to consider your chest size.
The thought of major surgery is terrifying, but I've never felt more beautiful than I do now.
