DEAR DEIDRE: WE have been engaged for 15 years and we still don’t have a wedding date. My fiancé is 53, I’m 51 and we’ve been together for 25 years. At the start of our relationship, we agreed that marriage and babies would be a part of our future. After the birth of our two […]
DEAR DEIDRE: WE have been engaged for 15 years and we still don’t have a wedding date.
My fiancé is 53, I’m 51 and we’ve been together for 25 years.
No issue is too small, too large or too embarrassing. Read our personal replies here.
At the start of our relationship, we agreed that marriage and babies would be a part of our future.
After the birth of our two sons, 17 and 19, I thought a wedding would be next.
But still, no proposal.
So I ended up giving him an ultimatum – a wedding, or I walk. So he proposed.
But whenever I try to start planning, he tells me that it’s “not a good time” or “we can’t afford it”.
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I’m beginning to wonder if he’ll ever want to make it official.
Perhaps I should leave and find someone who will marry me. But then I worry other guys my age won’t want to wed either.
DEIDRE SAYS: Your partner has been fobbing you off. He built up your expectations that this would be a part of your future.
Perhaps he doesn’t realise how important this is to you, so sit him down and explain how important getting married is to you.
Be frank, and tell him that by constantly putting it off, he is making you question your future.
Ask him what is stopping him from getting married. Would he consider getting a civil partnership instead?
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If he admits he doesn’t ever see the two of you getting hitched, ask yourself if you are prepared to stay.
Talking this through with someone impartial will help. Contact tavistockrelationships.org.
