Dark Seinfeld Theory Claims Kramer Was Always Secretly Married
Cosmo Kramer remains one of Seinfeld's most popular and iconic characters, but one fan theory speculates that he may have been secretly married in the show. Kramer began life on Seinfeld as Jerry's eccentric shut-in neighbor, but over the course of the early seasons, he became an integral part of the comedian's inner circle. By the time Seinfeld ended in 1998, Kramer had become every bit as synonymous with the show as the titular comedian.
After being introduced in season one as a shut-in, Kramer underwent perhaps more character development than any of the other members of Seinfeld's main cast. He started out on the show as little more than an eccentric neighbor with no inclination to adhere to societal norms, but after bonding with Jerry, George, and Elaine, Kramer is soon seen engaging with the outside world once more. He even goes on to show that he's perhaps not as socially inept as he initially seemed, often finding more success in his romantic life than Jerry or George.
One fan has proposed (via Reddit) that Kramer was married before the show's pilot, and his early shut-in status was a direct result of his failed marriage. The theory speculates that Kramer had felt trapped by marriage, and when it ended he was left traumatized and unwilling to leave his home - partly evidenced by Kramer not being in some early Seinfeld episodes in which the other characters aren't seen in Jerry's apartment. Their theory mostly hinges on an interaction that takes place between Kramer and Jerry in the season 7 episode "The Engagement".
In Seinfeld season 7, episode 1, Jerry and George make a pact to start taking their lives seriously, which results in George getting engaged to his ex-girlfriend, Susan. Jerry then speaks with Kramer about the pact, to which Kramer offers some insight on marriage. Kramer specifically describes marriage as: "...prisons. Man-made prisons. You're doing time. You get up in the morning. She's there. You go to sleep at night. She's there. It's like you gotta ask permission to use the bathroom. 'Is it all right if I use the bathroom now?'" He goes on to describe his vision of marriage in excruciating detail, hinting that the inspiration for Kramer delivering the tirade was that he had personal experience in the area.
The fan also speculates that Kramer's comments indicate his marriage may have been abusive, which lends further credence to his apprehension about leaving his apartment building in the early seasons of Seinfeld. While talking to Jerry, he references needing to ask permission to use the bathroom and not being allowed to watch TV, and while these comments are easy to dismiss as Kramer's comedic hyperbole, the fan theory sees them given a darker meaning. The theory also proposes that Kramer's ability to socialize from season 3 onwards is evidence that Jerry's friendship helped him recover from his marriage, which is why the character undergoes so much development over the course of Seinfeld's run.
While George's engagement ultimately ended with Susan's death in Seinfeld, which served to keep the show's status quo, Kramer's comments on marriage are delivered with a vehemence that makes the theory plausible. As Kramer is most often portrayed as an eccentric enigma, there are notable gaps in the character's back story which could easily be filled by the theory. While there are undoubtedly moments in Seinfeld's nine-season run that contradict the theory, the idea that Kramer was once married is certainly an interesting one.