Dolly Parton’s “9 to 5” Adjusted for Late-Stage Capitalism
In case you need help with the tune.
Come in on a Sunday? You’ve gotta be jokin’
Christmas bonus was a car wash token
Startin’ to think our system might be broken
Check the news, another union got busted
Politicians saying the jab can’t be trusted
Glance at the phone and the emails start comin’
With folks like me on the job virtually
Working 8 to 6, but they call you after hours
Barely gettin’ by, lots of crying in the shower
You might prequalify, won’t even hurt your credit
Ran out of sick days—well, I hope y’all don’t catch it
8 to 6, got no vision, got no dental
But guarantee they got the budget for a new missile
Want to have a child, but the Senate won’t pass the leave bill
But if things go bad they can cut a check for two trill
Zillow lets you dream just to watch them shatter
When the housing bubble bursts it won’t even matter
’Cause you got loans they won’t cancel anyway
In the same boat with a lot of your friends
Waiting for the day you can use that MFA
Wish those unpaid internships would’ve had some sway
Working 8 to 6, get replaced by automation
Barely gettin’ by, shouldn’t wages match inflation?
Piss in a bottle while your boss buys a rocket
Vote to make a change, and they turn around and block it
8 to 6, got a wax for Only Fans
Man I’m sick and tired of all these billionaire Stans
They praise Citizens United while the voter gets blighted
I’m not the only one that feels more than slighted
8 to 6, and they’re tracking time spent off task
Barely gettin’ by, no vacation don’t even ask
Why don’t you just pull yourself up by the bootstraps?
Can you please explain this unemployment gap
8 to 6, read their corporate resolution
In the next fifty years, they pledge to curb their pollution
It’s a rich man’s game, playin’s the only solution
And you spend your life, waiting for the revolution