Paige Davis, who you may recognize as the host of the fan favorite TLC show Trading Spaces, is opening up about the stigma of experiencing pain during sex and her road to getting a diagnosis.
She searched for answers for 30 years and kept it a secret from her husband for most of their relationship.
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“When I have intercourse, I feel like the ring of my vagina is on fire,” Paige told People. “It feels like somebody went in and put a thousand paper cuts around my opening.”
“It never felt good at all,” she added.
After years of searching for a diagnosis, she finally found a doctor who was able to give her a diagnosis after 30 years of searching: pudendal neuralgia, which is long-term pelvic pain that originates from damage or irritation of the pudendal nerve.
“She told me she had many patients experience the exact pain and challenges I was describing. Not only do they share my physical pain but have undoubtedly experienced some of the same emotional pain — feeling broken, or feeling like you have to perform or no one will want you,” she said.
She now wants to break the stigma of sex pain. “Who wants to tell a first date, ‘Oh by the way, when we have sex, I’m going to be in massive pain. But that’s cool, right?’ ” she said about women being taught to enjoy sex and please their partners.
“When we were first married he thought that I loved sex. Guess what? I don’t — it really hurts,” she said of her husband of 26 years, Patrick Paige.
“You just feel broken, or like you’re not normal,” she continued. “We are taught to be amazing at sex, that you’re supposed to please your partner. I took that to heart and just faked it.”
“I was always blown off by other doctors,” she added. “They told me to just relax…There’s just not enough studies out there. People need to start talking about it.”
She also has a message for younger women: “They don’t have to go into a performative mode to ignore this problem. I don’t want it to be this secret, shameful thing that like, your vajayjay is broken, so you’re not as good of a woman.”
“And I want women who are older like me to not give up. There is hope and you can feel better if you find the right specialist. You’re not crazy, it’s not in your head, it’s not your fault. It can get better.”
If you missed it, check out the Trading Spaces reunion that happened during the pandemic.
