Ben Rathbun is giving his relationship with Mahogany everything he’s got on 90 Day Fiancé: Before The 90 Days, but the 52-year-old has demonstrated a few times that he just isn’t ready to be in a serious relationship right now. The divorced father of four has raised the concern of 90 Day Fiancé fans as he uses his religion to justify dating a woman who is less than half of his age. While Mahogany has sent many red flags that indicate she might be a catfish, Ben also has shown that he isn’t at the level of maturity needed for a healthy relationship.
Ben was introduced as a former pastor who escaped a cult-like religion, left his ex-wife and the mother of his children, and is now trying to discover himself and find love. Despite being catfished in the past, Ben has fallen for Mahogany, a young woman from Peru with whom he has chatted for a little over three months. Mahogany has asked for money, has not video-called Ben, and did not show up at the airport when he arrived in Peru for a three-week trip to meet her. Meanwhile, Ben’s daughter pointed out how filtered the Peruvian woman’s pictures are. Nonetheless, Ben is still determined to date Mahogany, which has exposed Ben’s own red flags.
One of Ben’s biggest red flags is how he is only considering the relationship from his own point of view. Mahogany told Ben not to come to Peru, but he chose to fly there and acted surprised when she didn’t meet him at the airport or answer his calls. Ben has continued to invent scenarios where he can convince Mahogany to meet him or see him face to face. Mahogany has expressed that she doesn’t want to see Ben at this time. Rather than accept her boundaries, Ben is determined to hunt her down and force her to change her mind because he wants to be with her. This is not a healthy mindset to have when dating someone.
Ben is not only failing to consider Mahogany’s needs, but he is also ignoring reality when it comes to pursuing her. Ben’s friends and family pointed out Mahogany’s many red flags, but Ben refused to consider their hesitations since he said God wants him to be with Mahogany. For instance, he often fails to accept that Mahogany doesn’t want to see him. Rather than take Mahogany’s lack of a response to his many invitations as a confirmation that she doesn’t want to see him, Ben keeps coming up with reasons why Mahogany might not be responding. He decided that Mahogany was scared or being influenced by her father and failed to see that she clearly does not want to pursue something serious with him offline.
Ben has exhibited delusions and near-obsessive behavior when it comes to his pursuit of Mahogany. He also shows very poor decision-making skills in general. Since he has already been catfished, Ben should have pursued another online relationship with caution. However, he decided to send money and book plane tickets without even video-calling his partner. Now, Ben is trying to hunt down Mahogany rather than choose to move on. Overall, Ben appears to be emotionally stunted and unprepared to date on 90 Day Fiancé: Before The 90 Days or in the real world.
