I want to leave my abusive boyfriend but don’t want to go to a refuge
DEAR DEIDRE: I KNOW I need to end my relationship with my abusive boyfriend I live with but I am not in a financial position to leave him.
I don’t want to go to a refuge because I am an independent woman capable of paying my own way – just not right at the moment.
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I have a plan to stay with my boyfriend while I pay off my debts.
Once I have achieved this, I then intend to save money until I have enough to leave him and get my own place.
Each day that I stay, I realise how incompatible we are.
I am 29 and he is 26. Even though I have my plan and think about it every day, I am struggling to cope.
I won’t be able to leave for at least a year so how do I handle this emotional struggle until then?
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DEIDRE SAYS: A year is a long time and you are potentially in a dangerous situation. It is important that you access specialist support.
If your boyfriend were to discover your plan he may become more abusive to try and control you.
He must not find out you are going to leave him.
You can escape his abuse with the right support, though.
Get advice from the National Domestic Abuse Helpline (0808 2000 247) or see womensaid.org.uk