Collective Nouns for Parenting
A group of toddlers is called a chaos.
A group of kindergartners is a “Why can’t I be the line leader?”
A collection of salt is called a lot. A collection of preschoolers who skip their nap is also a lot.
A group of crying mothers is a breastfeeding class.
A group of expecting parents hearing advice is an overwhelm.
A pack of parrots is a pandemonium. A pandemonium of parrots at a toddler birthday “petting zoo” is a really bad idea.
A group of groans is a dad joke.
A group of women in the grocery store who had kids thirty years ago is an amnesia.
A collection of bagpipes is a skein. A collection of kids walking home with backpacks full of recorders is a scream.
A bunch of flowers is a bouquet. A bunch of moms with bouquets is a Mother’s Day.
A group of parents in line at a coffee shop is a zombie.
A pack of porcupines is a prickle. A pack of kids with a porcupine is a regrettable pet choice.
A group of parents reading school emails is an eternity.
A large group of parents at school drop-off is an avoidance.
A collection of corn is a shock. A collection of toddlers sharing is also a shock.
A group of tweens is an eye-roll.
A group of teenagers is a TikTok.
A group of whiny babies is a conspiracy theory.
A bunch of peas is a pod. A bunch of parents at the end of their rope is a learning pod.
A group of coconuts is a cluster. A group of parents on an online discussion board discussing “how those teens are ruining the park for our kids” is a clusterfuck.
A collection of poems is an anthology. A collection of babies sleeping on an airplane is a poetry.
A group of mothers is an emotional labor.
A group of parents in a pandemic is an exhaustion.