Marvel Comics Gave A Dark Answer To "What If You Became Spider-Man?"
Marvel Comics wasn't playing around when they jokingly revealed what would happen if their readers became Spider-Man. In a hilarious one-page story from a "What If...?" comic, Marvel asked, "What if you were Spider-Man?" The answer was extremely dark and hilarious, as the page showed Spider-Man's greatest villains standing around an unmarked grave, with the text reading "You'd be dead! You're no super-hero."
Marvel's What If...? line of comics managed to strike a fine balance between completely silly scenarios and ones that were deadly serious. Some of the most famous tales to come from the imprint asked questions like "What If Wolverine Had Killed The Hulk?," "What if Spider-Man had joined the Fantastic Four?," and "What If Dr. Strange were a disciple of Dormammu?" The line allowed writers to explore alternate storylines and realities for heroes and villains without messing with continuity. Though, some storylines, such as "What if Jane Foster had found the hammer of Thor?" have actually become real storylines in the 616-universe. A What If...? animated series inspired by the comics is coming to Disney+ later this year.
Marvel's What If...? #34 featured more than 20 different stories crammed into a single issue with most lasting a page or less. The issue was essentially an excuse for Marvel writers to tell jokes about iconic heroes, such as "What if industrialist Tony Stark owned a chain of laundromats?" and "What if Howard the Duck was a chicken?" The stories were incredibly silly, which made for a fun read. Aaron Lopresti, Tom Vincent, Brad K. Joyce, and Craig Anderson's "What If you were Spider-Man?" took things in a darker direction.
In the story, readers are asked what would happen if they were Spider-Man - with arrows suggesting they paste their photo on Spider-Man's face. The answer? "You'd be dead. You're no super-hero." The next panel shows Spider-Man's greatest villains standing near a blank gravestone which has an arrow pointing to it saying "fill your name in here."
The comic is both extremely morbid and hilarious. Readers of superhero comics tend to imagine what it would be like to be a superhero themselves, often thinking about the good they could achieve and the battles they would fight with special powers. This What If...? comic gives a much more direct and unfortunate answer to what would happen if readers became Spider-Man - they wouldn't stand a chance against his top villains. It makes sense, as swapping out Spider-Man for a regular joe would certainly lead to his downfall. Still, it's hilarious Marvel Comics provided such a dark and brutally honest answer to the question.