My husband needs help getting it up and it’s ruining our sex life
DEAR DEIDRE: MY husband refuses to have sex during the day because he says it takes too long to get ready.
He had prostate surgery and now has to use a pump on himself to get an erection and says sex is not like it used to be. We are both in our sixties.
We have sex in the evening even though he still has to get himself ready.
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I don’t see the difference between sex in the day and sex at night.
Sometimes he comes home looking tired and I wonder if he’s cheating.
He assured me he isn’t and always asks, “Would you want an affair with a man who needs a pump to get an erection?”.
Deep down I really want to believe he’s not playing away.
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DEIDRE SAYS: Your husband makes a good point. Don’t jump to conclusions.
Sometimes the decision about when to have sex can be more about an emotional power struggle than personal preferences.
Have an honest chat to get to the root of this as it sounds like your insecurities are clouding your judgment.
You may each have a favourite time of day so do look for compromise occasionally.