I can’t resist hooking up with men even though I’m happily married to my wife
DEAR DEIDRE: EVEN though I’m happily married to my wife, I crave gay sex with guys I meet online.
I was sexually abused as a child by two men.
My grandfather assaulted me from when I was nine until I was 13. It only stopped when he died.
When I was 15 a neighbour paid me to do some odd jobs for him.
One day he asked if I’d like to earn a bit more by letting him give me oral sex. I agreed and it led to a full sexual relationship, which I enjoyed.
This carried on until my family moved away.
At 20, I fell in love with the woman who became my wife. I’m now 50 and our relationship is good, I love her very much.
So why can’t I stop meeting men on gay sex sites and secretly hooking up with them?
I know my marriage would be over if my wife found out.
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DEIDRE SAYS: The abuse that you suffered has had a big impact on your sexuality.
It doesn’t sound like you have had any help to deal with it, which is now threatening to destroy your loving relationship.
Please read my support pack Abused As A Child? and contact NAPAC (napac.org.uk), a charity supporting adult survivors of sexual abuse, free on 0808 801 0331.
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