DEAR DEIDRE: A VERY good friend of mine keeps saying he is straight but proves it by having sex with me – a gay man.
He split with his wife two years ago. I suspect she threw him out because of his drinking.
He took it hard so I went out with him for a few drinks to try to cheer him up. We were both very drunk by the end of the evening and ended up having a brief sexual encounter.
I’m openly gay and have a partner while my friend is supposedly straight. I am 32, my partner is 35 and my friend is 33.
This friend and I have been out a few times since and every time we get drunk and every time we have sex. I feel guilty but I really like this guy, though his drinking is an issue.
On top of that, he keeps insisting he is straight. He tells me about women he is talking to online but I think his drinking puts them off.
I don’t want to destroy our friendship but I don’t know what to think. Is it possible for a straight man to have repeated sex with another man just out of loneliness?
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DEIDRE SAYS: Once you accept that few of us are 100 per cent one side or the other of a sexuality line, it’s not so hard to understand that someone feeling lonely and sex-starved might well cross the boundary.
But I see nothing but trouble for you in getting more involved with this guy.
He has alcohol problems, which are depressing in a partner, and is uncaring enough to use you for sexual relief then tell you about women he is chasing.
And what about your own partner? Doesn’t he deserve better? Alcoholics tend to be self-destructive. Be careful this supposed friend doesn’t take you down with him
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