Jay is one of the saddest characters in Big Mouth — even if he doesn't know it. He finds cheer in the smallest of things, such as copulating with furniture, because his general life is nothing a 13-year-old child should be subjected to. It's shocking that CPS hasn't dismantled the Bilzerian home already.
Jay adores magic, and although he is exceptionally talented at the artform, he receives little to no appreciation for his skill — whether from his parents, brothers, or friends. Nevertheless, he stands strong against the many adversities of his life, but there are a few situations that are just plain unfair to force this innocent boy into.
Jay's cheerful facade hides a deep well of insecurity, largely based on the notion that his friends (and several other characters) all hate him. The kid pines for is a sense of camaraderie to hold his shattered life in place, but instead, nearly all of them mock him for his various eccentricities.
Forgetting about their overreactions towards his perspective on sex, they demean Jay for the one thing he's proud of the most (and incredibly talented at), magic. In other instances, it almost seems like they expect him to behave like his monster of a father.
Given real-life teenage precedent, it's unfortunately not surprising that Jay's older brothers bully him, but the extent to which Val and Kurt Bilzerian take their torture methods is just horrific.
Their usual procedures combine physical agony with some variety of bodily fluid; in fact, Nick and Andrew obtain a little sympathy for Jay after enduring a sleepover at the Bilzerian household. That's just the tip of the iceberg of what the youngest kid goes through at the hands of his family.
Jay doesn't really know much about sex, though he constantly drones on about how he is the best there ever was, is, and could be.
However, involving his pillows in his fantasies reeks of a cry for help. Just copulating with them is harmless enough, but then there's that elaborate fantasy of one of his "lovers" giving birth to a child, only later revealed to be the son of his brother, Kurt. This proves the dramatic extent that Jay needs to escape his reality.
In addition to the sibling abuse, Jay's parents are egregiously uncaring of his basic needs. He's forced to forage around for food because they never feed him, and his mother doesn't remember he even exists.
If that's not sad enough, it would be better for Jay if his dad forgot about him. Unfortunately, Guy Bilzerian has Jay tag along on his numerous affairs, leaving the boy in a locked car while he's off doing his thing.
Jay's diet is composed of fast food (or the scraps he manages to scrounge up after his bigger, stronger brothers have finished eating). He only learns that nutrition doesn't have to be fought over and that some families even shower each other with love, affection, and a ton of delicious shared meals, when he is taken in by Nick's parents, the Birches.
Jay is more astonished than anything to find out that real food is actually much better and less stressful to obtain, and that he can do a lot better.
For all their mistreatment, poor Jay does care for his parents and siblings a great deal, though they don't deserve a shred of his affection. He keeps rationalizing everything terrible they inflict on him, such as scorn him for his hobbies, forget to pick him up at school, ignore his smallest requests for dignity, and so on.
Jay insists that the Bilzerians adore him, often offering some kind of ridiculous reason for their actions. This evidently does not play out the way he wants it to, even with his pillow family.
Jay's path to a normal childhood being destroyed, his puberty-themed escapades have taken an uncomfortably twisted turn. He finds pleasure in the sexual comfort provided by soft furniture, a strong indication that he finds it difficult to connect with regular people.
As such, when he learns that he might not be straight, Jay doesn't come to terms with it too easily. Instead, his way of dealing with things is through objectophilia, by fantasizing his queerness into the masculine Brad, his aggressive cushion partner. Jay doesn't have any actual person to talk to about his sexuality.
The worst thing that Jay undergoes is that he sometimes receives some amount of love from his parents, but for the most part, the sheer absence of it is a painful burden to bear.
In other words, if his family had simply ignored him from scratch, it would have taken some time, but there is the possibility that he could theoretically set his priorities straight. Nonetheless, when these moments come and go, the only thing they do is create hope in Jay's heart that can never be completely fulfilled.
As an extension of his desperation for human contact, Jay becomes buddies with Coach Steve, another man without access to most of the same things that are lacking in him. A wayward child and a clueless adult man finding themselves in each other does not bode well for Jay. And as harmelss and well-intentioned as Coach Steve may be, this entire relationship is inappropriate. Luckily, the introduction of the Jay-Lola pairing could go a long way in setting Jay on the right track.
Speaking of his latest — and only stable — relationship, Jay's openness allows him to reveal to Lola that he loves her, but he is given nothing concrete in response. He angrily stalks away, seeking solace in some plush fabric, when she tells him that she has a problem with accepting commitment.
Rather than acknowledge her concerns, Jay lashes out at her in his toxic fashion, asserting that he doesn't want anything to do with her anymore. The young couple eventually come to an agreement, though.
