Of Course Tom Cruise Filmed Himself Going To See ‘Tenet’ In A Movie Theater

Anyone who wants to see Tenet will soon (August 26 for countries that have their sh*t together, September 3 for the United States) face a moral dilemma: go to a potentially unsafe theater or wait until it’s on digital? Tom Cruise has already made his choice. “Big Movie. Big Screen. Loved it,” the Mission: Impossible actor tweeted on Tuesday, along with a video of himself watching Tenet in a crowded theater. It’s extremely weird.

I’m tempted to break the 0:34 clip down like the Zapruder film (“Jack… and to the left”?), but let’s stick to the highlights.

1. The unnecessary establishing shots of London (?).

2. How did these teens recognize World Famous Actor Tom Cruise in his SUV? Even he seems stumped. “How does that happen? I’m wearing a mask.”

3. It’s nice of Christopher Nolan to let Cruise borrow Bane’s mask from The Dark Knight Rises.

4. If Tom Cruise isn’t there to welcome me “back to the movies” when I go to a theater for the first time since March, whenever that is, I am going to be upset.

5. The only social distance-friendly seating in the theater appears to be next to Cruise, where there are at least six empty rows. Then again, if Cruise’s cameraperson is going to have their phone on the full time to film him, I wouldn’t want to be in that row, anyway.

6. I could brighten this image, but no, it’s perfect as is. Tom Cruise, living in the moment. He does seem like a guy who leans forward for an entire movie.

7. Hey Tom Cruise, did you happen to love Tenet?

Welp, back to work jumping off mid-air motorcycles.