TALK to any survivor of childhood sexual abuse and it’s evident it leaves a legacy that defines the rest of that person’s life.
Shame, guilt, depression, low self-esteem, self-doubt and, very often, self-hatred cloud every day of their life so profoundly that often they never come close to realising their full potential.
Survivors struggle to trust and form meaningful relationships.
Often, it leads to secondary problems like substance and alcohol abuse. Simply put, child abuse blights lives.
So, I have always felt comforted by the fact that there are laws protecting children and holding those who perpetrate violence and abuse against them to account. But not any more, it seems.
Eric Joyce, a former Labour MP and ex-Army officer — all the hallmarks of an upstanding citizen — has been spared jail for his crimes.
He attended Ipswich Crown Court accused of possession of footage showing “the sexual abuse of very young children”.
His computer showed searches “for material for five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten-year-old girls”.
The film he was in possession of was category A — the most serious there is.
It featured seven different children, the youngest of whom was a 12-month-old baby. All were younger than seven years old — totally defenceless and entirely unable to protect themselves.
Which is, surely, when the law needs to step in.
The judge could not have put it better when he said: “That these acts of abuse happened is because there are people like you who want to watch these films.
“If there was no market, those children wouldn’t be subjected to these very serious offences.”
In other words, those who consume are as bad as those who perpetrate.
And yet this pervert only got a suspended sentence, which means he will not go to jail for an hour, let alone the years he deserves.
If you or your child had survived the abuse that was filmed for Eric Joyce’s gratification, would you feel that justice had been done? No, I didn’t think so.
Joyce’s defence lawyer cited the fact Joyce was drinking heavily over the five-year time span that the offence was committed by way of explanation.
But being drunk is the kind of defence that can be used to explain away a minor lapse in judgment, not the creation of an appetite to watch children being harmed.
And what about the children who have already been harmed by his “impulsive behaviour”? Who is going to protect them and others like them?
Who will protect these children if our judicial system won’t?
This sentence sends the message to all men buying and using images of child sexual abuse that if they get caught for doing so they will probably avoid jail.
Protecting babies and children is clearly not the priority it needs to be.
A suspended sentence just does not measure up to the crime that Joyce has committed, nor the part he has played in wrecking the lives of multiple young children who need and deserve to be protected.
Men who perpetuate the need for these images and footage to be created in the first place are as much part of the problem as the people making it and should be punished accordingly.
Whether the punishment will stop them from doing it again is another question completely. But it will at least act as a deterrent to others.
WHILST most of us are stuck in the UK trying to recover from the health crisis and financial mess Covid-19 has inflicted on us, whilst also slowly melting in the stifling humidity, lots of celebs are on holiday.
I know this because day after day endless photos of them appear in the media either on the beach, in a bikini, floating in the sea, diving in a swimming pool or sipping a cocktail.
This week a picture of Nicole Scherzinger looking incredible in an itsy-bitsy bikini watching the sunset in St Lucia made me think that maybe it’s time to take a break.
In preparation for any holiday I would need my roots doing, waxing, spray tan, pedicure and manicure.
So I thought, sod it – I love England!
I REMEMBER my mum telling me that once you hit 50 no one looks at you any more.
By “no one” she actually meant men, because as she explained, at 50 you’re past your best and there’s really not much to look at.
But times are changing, as the stunning Elizabeth Hurley (55), Christie Brinkley (66), Michelle Pfeiffer (62), Monica Bellucci (55), Elle Macpherson (56), Sandra Bullock (56), Sharon Stone (62), Vanessa Williams (57), Gillian Anderson (52), Halle Berry (54), Cindy Crawford (54) etc, etc, etc prove there is still plenty to look at at 50.
But I know where my mum was coming from. We all have good and bad days. It’s just that by 50, for most of us anyway, the good days get further and further apart.
But I was outraged this week when Kelly Brook, who is only 40, revealed that cruel trolls have branded her “unsexy” and “past her best”.
She said that people see her as “this 40-year-old fat girl” and pointed out that “people grow up, people get bigger, people change, it happens”.
Yes, she is right. People age, even the most beautiful ones.
That’s because no matter how hard you try – extensive gym sessions, a little filler and Botox and utter dedication to the food you eat – time just doesn’t stand still.
But frankly, anyone who is picking fault with Kelly is either completely blind or utterly jealous.
She is, what they called in my day, “a knockout” – naturally beautiful, curvy in all the right places, and seems lovely to boot.
No, she is not the pin-up girl she was in her 20s, but for me she’s even better at 40.
Happy, healthy, independent, confident, sexy and beautiful.
So don’t care what anyone thinks. At any age just love yourself, as you really don’t need anyone else to.
SO the latest reality TV news is that Ex On The Beach contestants in the upcoming series have been banned from physical contact in accordance with new social distancing guidelines.
Also, the dating show, which has previously been filmed in exotic locations such as Bali and Cancun, will this year reportedly be shot in . . . London.
So, no hot bikini-clad bodies on display and no snogging.
Aren’t those the only two things that defined the show?
Will anyone tune in now?
SAY what you like about Gordon Ramsay – and plenty do, of course – but you’ve got to love the fact he offered students free “bottomless pizza” from his Street Pizza restaurant chain on A-level results day.
The TV chef, 53, made the offer on Instagram, saying he wanted to reward all students for their hard work – no matter what exam results they got.
An offer so nice and so kind, it threatens to seriously damage his reputation as Mr Nasty.
SINGER Joss Stone was branded “deluded” and “tone deaf” after she declared – from her luxury home in the Bahamas – that “happiness is a choice”.
But actually, bearing in mind the number of millionaires I have met over the years who are still lonely and discontented, it’s fair to say that a luxury lifestyle isn’t an automatic free pass to happiness.
Yes, sure, Joss has had many advantages and privileges.
But we all know money can’t buy you love.
There are plenty of people who don’t have any spare cash but are still able to have a positive mental attitude, to love and be loved and to choose happiness.
Maybe that would include Joss, whether she had a house in the Bahamas or not.
JESY Nelson from Little Mix has been candid in the past about how she would starve herself before concerts and shoots.
She’s explained that the pressure to be thin was so intense that all she would consume for four days would be Diet Coke and then, when she felt a bit dizzy, she’d eat a pack of ham because she knew it had low calories.
I’d love to think that all that pressure was firmly in the past but this week she posted a photo of her dinner on Instagram: Eight measly little baby carrots and a couple of slivers of chicken.
Meanwhile, her boyfriend gets to eat a huge Burger King feast.
That’s injustice as far as I’m concerned.
But also, what I really want to say to Jesy is this: eat healthily, by all means, but life is too short to starve yourself.
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