My best friend was knocked off his bike and died and I blame myself
DEAR DEIDRE: IT was my fault my best friend died when we were both 15. I’ve never forgiven myself.
We used to cycle to swimming club together but that day I rushed out of the house before school in a bad mood and left my swimming stuff behind, even though Mum was calling me back to get it.
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That meant my friend had to cycle round to my house to call for me instead of us cycling straight to school.
He was hit by a speeding car before he got to my house and died before he reached hospital.
He would be alive now if I hadn’t been so pig-headed. That was 40 years ago but I think of him every day and ask myself why I was so stupid.
DEIDRE SAYS: It wasn’t your fault your friend died. That was down to that speeding driver.
Of course you were heartbroken but you were not responsible for his death.
We often create false chains of responsibility like this because it is so hard to accept how randomly harsh life and death can be.
Find understanding support through Cruse bereavement care (cruse.org.uk, 0808 808 1677).