This 1967 Oscar-winning film by legendary director Mike Nichols is about a love triangle: an anxious college grad, his mature lover, and her co-ed daughter. Benjamin Braddock (Dustin Hoffman) returns to his parents' SoCal home where they expect great things. At his homecoming party, he and a longtime family friend, Mrs. Robinson (Anne Bancroft aka Mrs. Mel Brooks) begin an ongoing affair that eventually fizzles out.
When her daughter Elaine (Katharine Ross) visits, Ben is coerced into taking her on a date that begins as the worst ever and ends with the two actually liking each other, which her mother tries to deter. It sounds like a time-honored trope, and true, some things are still relatable, but others are not just dated, but ridiculous.
Then, now, and probably forever, there will be the May/December relationship. Usually more socially acceptable when the man is the senior member of the couple, there is the 15-year stretch between Scott Disick and Sofia Richie, and let's not forget the 20-plus gap Leonardo DiCaprio has with just about every model he dates.
But society's lack of approval hasn't stopped some men from becoming attracted to older women: there's Nick Jonas and Priyanka Chopra, Hugh Jackman and Deborra Lee-Furness, and most recently Keanu Reeves and artist Alexandra Grant.
When his parents throw Ben a welcome home gathering, he wades uncomfortably through the crowd of well-meaning adults who want to know what the 21-year-old is going to do with the rest of his life, with some of the middle-aged men offering the morose: "You'll never be this young again."
At one point, a man puts his arm around Ben and says: "I have one word for you - plastics." Plastics are no longer the future. In fact, in 2020, single-use plastics are considered a scourge that is ruining our environment.
Yes, there are indeed college grads who knew what they wanted to do and majored in something like engineering, or accounting and found a job in their field from the get-go. But a lot of people want to keep their options open, get a liberal arts degree. They then often get overwhelmed by how many options there are and don't know which road to take.
What's particularly hard is going on interviews for jobs in industries that sound interesting but spark no passion. Ben's blank stares every time he contemplates his future is very here-and-now.
Remember the "save-the-dates" that gave you the heads-up that your invite to the happiest day of someone's life was in the mail? Now, thanks to COVID-19, there are "postpone-the-date" correspondences to tell us a wedding has been pushed until next year, at least.
Pre-pandemic, the business of getting married was a billion-dollar industry that even spawned television shows like Say Yes To The Dress and Bridezillas. The reality is that no matter how grand the nuptials, it doesn't guarantee a successful marriage, so perhaps one positive thing to come from the pandemic is the end to the battle royals over whether the cake should be buttercream or chocolate.
"Ben, would you mind telling me what those four years of college were for? What was the point of that hard work? I think it's a very good thing that a young man after he's done some very good work should have a chance to relax and enjoy himself. But after a few weeks, I believe that person would want to take some stock in himself and his situation and start to think about getting off his a**."
Who knew your dad was in the movie? Parents will always have expectations for their children, some higher and more unrealistic than others. This quote is just as relevant in some households, today.
After Elaine finds out about Ben and Mrs. Robinson, she confronts Ben about raping her mother, which is what the older woman says happened: she had one too many at a hotel bar where Ben happened to be and he took her to a room and forced himself on her. Ben tells Elaine what really happened and he believes him.
Today, while it still remains a challenge for women to come out and speak about their assaults, it would take a lot for Elaine not to stand with her mother if this scene was reshot today. And although Ben could somehow eventually be vindicated, he'd be canceled first.
When Elaine comes home from Berkley for a visit, her dad, as well as Ben's parents (everyone but Mrs. Robinson), goad Ben into taking her out on a date. Not only is he dismissive, but he takes this very conservative young woman to a strip club, where she's humiliated. After she runs out crying, he apologizes, telling her he's been acting out and being rude to everyone.
Who among us has not spent an evening with someone who looked good on paper, or in their outdated or filtered photo, and thought "Never again."
Elaine is beautiful, intelligent, and poised. Contrary to popular belief, not every young person in 1967 was part of the counterculture (aka, a hippie). The Berkley co-ed was traditional, and like many women, went to school to find a college-man husband, so she could become an overeducated housewife.
After a few more successful dates with Ben, he proposes, but she's already agreed to marry a guy she hardly knows who her parents have set her up with so she can be settled. Today, depending on your family culture, this may not fly.
Sad but true, this still happens. Usually, though, not five minutes after the ceremony where the bride and her new lover make a run for it and hop on a city bus to begin their new life.
Jessica Seinfeld left her first husband to start dating Jerry when they returned from their three-week honeymoon. Kim Kardashian's 72-day marriage to Kris Humphries ended for Kayne West, and The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills alum Brandi Glanville lost Eddie Cibrian to LeAnn Rimes.
Ben decides he's going to marry Elaine (whether she likes it or not) so he drives from Santa Barbara up to Berkley and rents a room in a boarding house so before he contacts her, so he can follow her around campus as well as town, surveilling where she goes and with whom.
Perhaps during this era, obsessive spying was considered endearing and proof someone was really into you. Today, it is seen for what it is: creepy, intrusive harassment as evidenced by Joe Goldberg (Penn Badgley) in You.
