DEAR DEIDRE: I’M broken-hearted since finding my girlfriend in bed with a man. She promises me they didn’t have sex but I’m finding that hard to believe.
It’s not our first crisis about being faithful – but it was me last time. I had sex with a female colleague two years ago and my girlfriend caught us together in bed.
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I’m not sure why I did it – just for excitement, I guess.
My girlfriend was angry and hurt but I said sorry.
For a while we sorted things out but split up six months later.
But we missed each other and got back together – and it felt great until last week, when I saw her with that man.
She says she’s sorry and promised to have no further contact with him but how can I trust her? We’re both 28.
DEIDRE SAYS: You need to be talking more.
If you don’t know even now why you cheated, how can your girlfriend feel sure it won’t happen again?
It sounds like she is still hurting and perhaps wanted you to be feeling that hurt.
You have both said sorry but you need to go deeper so you understand the root causes and stop hurting each other so much.
My e-leaflet Cheating – Can You Get Over It? should help.
