A Dozen Ways Alanis Morissette Can Update the “Hand in My Pocket” Refrains for Her Fans Hitting Middle Age
‘Cause I’ve got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is increasing the font size on my phone
‘Cause I’ve got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is co-signing a student loan
‘Cause I’ve got one hand in my pocket
And the other one has a suspicious mole I’m getting removed tomorrow
‘Cause I’ve got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is lacing up a pair of Allbirds
‘Cause I’ve got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is flicking a joint I found in my daughter’s room
‘Cause I’ve got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is unwrapping a calcium chew
‘Cause I’ve got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is slathering on Skin Renewing Vitamin C Face Serum with Hyaluronic Acid and SPF 15
‘Cause I’ve got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is writing a strongly worded letter to the editor
‘Cause I’ve got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is ordering an Uber to take me to a Paint & Sip night
‘Cause I’ve got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is taking away my father’s car keys
‘Cause I’ve got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is answering the landline.
‘Cause I’ve got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is flipping off a millennial