I had an affair with my husband’s friend 10 years ago and I can’t stop thinking about him
DEAR DEIDRE: IT is likely that my younger son is my husband’s friend’s child and I can’t stop thinking about him.
We had an affair for ten years and my husband never knew. It ended when I found out I was pregnant.
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I was 39 when I had my younger son and I’m 49 now. He’s the image of my husband’s friend, who knows it could be his child. My ex-lover is married with two boys. He’s 51.
I’ve hit a rough patch lately with my husband who is a bully and can be horrible. I can’t stop thinking about his friend but I don’t know how to sort this out.
DEIDRE SAYS: You must have been having sex with your husband around the time your son was conceived for him to have accepted the boy as his child.
Seeing a likeness isn’t proof and your ex-lover doesn’t sound like he wants to acknowledge this other possible son.
The urgent issue here is your abusive marriage. Tell your husband he changes or he leaves.
It is best to decide whether to open the question of your son’s paternity when you’re not at risk.
My e-leaflet Abusive Partner explains where to find support.
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